


Yes, I'll Always Remember You

by roe87



Series: Shrunkyclunks au's [8]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Dating, F/M, Fate & Destiny, Fem Bucky Barnes, Female Bucky Barnes, First Meetings, Flirting, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Light Angst, Modern Bucky Barnes, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Reincarnation, Reunited and It Feels So Good, SHIELD, SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes, Sassy Bucky Barnes, Shrunkyclunks, Smut, Soulmates, Sparring, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Top Steve Rogers, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:55:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21576406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roe87/pseuds/roe87
Summary: Steve wakes up from the ice, and everyone he knew or loved has gone.Then he meets Bucky in the future... as a woman.Bucky is a Shield agent, and she's been tasked with assisting Captain Rogers into the 21st Century.Neither of them expected to fall in love.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Shrunkyclunks au's [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1350988
Comments: 58
Kudos: 302
Collections: Steve/Bucky fics with Fem Bucky





	1. Like a river flows surely to the sea

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after The First Avenger finishes. I've just been obsessed with Shrunkclunks and Shield Agent Bucky lately. 
> 
> (Btw if you want to headcanon Bucky as a cis woman, trans woman, intersex or non binary fem, please go ahead!)
> 
> Title from the song Johnny Remember Me
> 
> ~~
> 
> A smol heads up for: light angst Steve, post coming out of the ice and feeling sad, references to grief and canonical death (Bucky's) and blaming himself. Standard Steve feels, I guess. Steve needs a hug! (Don't worry, he'll get a hug!)
> 
> ~~

_New York, 2011_

"You've been asleep, Cap. For almost seventy years."

_What?_

_No..._

Steve's head was swimming.

This couldn't be real. It _couldn't_. And yet, as Steve looked around once more at the towering buildings of Times Square with their dazzling lights, and all the people and cars surrounding him didn't look at all like he remembered, he had the sinking feeling that it _could_ be true.

It could. But that would mean...

Steve opened his mouth to ask, but no sound came out. He was too stunned.

"I'm Colonel Nick Fury," the man with the eye patch said. "Director of SHIELD. You would've known us as the Strategic Scientific Reserve."

 _The SSR?_ They were here too? Steve was relieved to hear that, but he was still reeling. "Where am I?" he asked.

"Forty-sixth and Broadway," Fury replied easily. He had the cool air of someone who was used to giving orders, someone who'd seen a lot of shit go down in their lifetime and wasn't easily phased.

"What about the war?" Steve asked. "Did we win?"

"Hell, yeah," Fury said, a note of pride in his voice. "Unconditional surrender. Taking down Hydra was a big part of that. Look," he added, "the world hasn't changed all that much, there's still a lot of work to be done. A _soldier's_ work. The world can still use a man like you, Cap." Fury offered his hand out.

Steve wasn't sure who to trust but he decided to trust his gut and go along with Fury for now. He took Fury's hand, looking him in the eye as he shook it.

"There's a place here for you," Fury promised.

~~

Once the ground agents had gotten Captain America safely into a SUV to take him back to SHIELD HQ, Fury got out his phone and opened a secure channel.

"This is Hill," Hill's voice said in his ear.

"Situation is contained, for now," Fury told her. "I need you to pull Barnes in from the field. Project Helping Hand needs to be on standby, ASAP."

"Will do," Hill replied. "How... did he seem?"

"Honestly?" Fury walked back to his car. "A little shell-shocked. That's to be expected. I don't want him being left alone too long, though. That's not gonna help a guy's mental health at all, especially when he finds out everyone he knew is dead or in a nursing home."

"Understood," Hill replied. "I'm contacting Barnes now."

~~

Bucky was exactly twenty-one minutes into a black ops mission when the earpiece in her ear clicked twice, indicating a request to open the secure channel.

Whoever it was would just have to wait. Bucky was crouched in the dark, inside a very pathetic office as she installed bugs onto computers and phone lines. The targets were a human trafficking ring, and SHIELD needed to know how big the ring was.

Bucky had to bug the whole place without alerting the security guards or the system. The enhanced goggles she wore showed her where most of the infrared alarms were, and Bucky had to duck, roll and edge her way around the green beams through the room.

The click came through on her earpiece again as she was installing the last bug. Bucky slipped out the room through the vent and made it to a window. She climbed up to the roof, rolling into a crouch when she reached the top.

Tapping her earpiece, she accepted the call. "It's your dime."

"We need you back here in NY," Hill's voice said.

"What for?" Bucky pulled off her goggles, shaking her hair out.

"We need you on standby for Project Helping Hand," Hill replied.

Bucky's eyes went wide. "Oh," she said. "You want me to make my own way in?"

"I've got a Quinjet flying over your location in approximately three minutes," Hill said, making Bucky smile. "I'll send you the rendezvous point."

"Alright," Bucky replied, and looked at her Smartwatch screen for the information. "Got it," she said. "Guess I'll see you in a few."

"Come find me for the briefing when you get in," Hill said, then closed the channel.

Bucky stashed her goggles into her utility belt and ran to the edge of the roof. She jumped, tucking into a roll as she landed on the next building, and kept on running.

She was going to have to get across building tops pretty fast to make the pick up point.

But this was Project Helping Hand: it was important.

~~

_Two weeks later_

"How's he holding up?" Fury asked, approaching the doors to the gym.

Agent Coulson was there, on baby sitting duty again.

Coulson tilted his head to the side. "He's... working through some stuff."

"Again?" Fury was concerned. But this was exactly why he'd put in contingencies. "Watch the door while I go talk to him."

"Yes, sir," Coulson replied.

Fury headed inside: it was an old boxing gym downtown, and empty this time of night. The owner having been paid a little extra from SHIELD to let one Steve Rogers blow off some steam alone.

The thing was, that's all Rogers had been doing since he'd woken up. Destroying punching bags on his own, running around the city early morning on his own, or riding the trains on his own.

It didn't look good. Not that Fury blamed the guy, he was bound to feel depressed or out of sorts. Everyone he knew or loved was suddenly gone, or old. He was a man out of time.

Rogers was currently beating the stuffing out of a punching bag across the gym. There were multiple replacement bags lined up beside him for when he destroyed one. Fury had been told that happened a lot.

"At ease, soldier," Fury called out, approaching him.

Rogers paused for a moment, then kept on punching. "I'm. Not. A. Soldier. Anymore," he replied, jabbing a punch into the bag on each word. " _Sir._ "

Fury waited patiently. Rogers wasn't the first soldier he'd met who was going through some shit. The world owed him a great debt, and Fury hadn't forgotten that, even if Rogers seemed to.

"No," he said easily, "but that's up to you. I told you there was still work to do. A soldier's work."

This got Rogers to stop punching, at last. He wasn't even wearing gloves, just had his hands taped up. He caught the bag, holding onto it as he stared into the middle distance.

All that punching and he hadn't even broken a sweat.

"I don't know _what_ I want to do," Rogers said, sounding very young and very lost.

"That's okay," Fury told him gently. This, he could work with. "There's still a lot to fill you in on, and you probably want to get a refresher on certain things. Field training, that sort of thing."

Rogers looked at him, a certain amount of suspicion in his eyes. "Training for what?"

"For threats to society," Fury replied. "I'm putting together a team of very special people, to protect us against unusual threats."

Rogers looked back at his punching bag again, eyes glazing over.

Okay, that wasn't what Fury wanted at all.

"It's a lot to take in at once, I get it," he said. "That's why I've gotten you an assistant."

Rogers blew air out his nose, an angry little huff. "I don't need a PA, sir."

"Why don't you meet her first?" Fury said, smiling. "Something tells me you'll want to."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rogers asked.

"Just trust me." Fury handed over the briefing sheet. "I've secured a floor for you at the office. This tells you where it is."

Rogers took the sheet, glancing at it. "What will I be doing?"

"Whatever you feel like," Fury said. "But I'm sure your assistant will be able to offer some suitable suggestions. She'll be waiting for you at 0800 tomorrow morning, and it's not polite to keep a lady waiting." Fury turned to go, hoping Rogers would at least consider it. "Goodnight, Cap."

Rogers didn't reply, but when Fury glanced back as he exited the gym, he saw Rogers reading the brief.

Hopefully that was a good sign.

~~

Steve was kind of pissed.

Fury could dress it up how he liked, saying he'd hired an _assistant_ to help him but Steve knew the truth: SHIELD had gotten him a handler.

Clearly, they thought he was an asset and they wanted him to get in line. Steve was still in two minds how he felt about that. He'd spent the last few days reading the Internet as much as he could in his spare time, trying to piece together world history and what the American government had been doing all the years he'd been asleep.

There was just _so much_. So much to catch up on, it nearly sent Steve into a head spin if he thought about it too much. And on top of that SHIELD was watching his every move, virtually breathing down his neck about joining them.

Steve really wasn't sure what he wanted. One thing that'd kept him from walking away from SHIELD altogether was finding out that Peggy was a founding member: her name and pictures were on the walls along with Howard's and Colonel Philips.

That alone had given Steve pause, and when he'd dug deeper he'd found out some of the surviving Howlies had worked with Peggy and the SSR even after the war had ended, Dum Dum and Pinky being among them.

Steve just... Well, he wasn't sure where his place in SHIELD was, or if there was even a place for him now.

There was a lot of things about the SSR Steve hadn't agreed with during the war, but he'd done what they'd asked and worked for them so people could be _free_. Currently there was no threat looming over them that told Steve he had to be fighting ready, so what was the point?

He could train to become a New York firefighter and do just as much good, not that he expected SHIELD would be happy about that.

Steve found himself heading into the city and to the SHIELD offices anyway, mostly because he didn't have anything better to do, and also because wanted to get some answers.

Trying to get a straight answer out of Nick Fury was like a game of chess sometimes, and Steve had no patience for that right now.

He marched through the front doors of SHIELD and went through security, where a few staff members did double takes and stuttered greetings at him.

No doubt they remembered him from when he'd busted out of the same office two weeks ago. Steve greeted them in turn but he didn't hang around to chat.

He headed up in the elevator to the floor listed in the briefing. The handler's name hadn't been listed, and Steve wasn't sure what to expect when he got there.

He swiped himself in through the door, finding himself in what looked like an Olympic size gym. The floor was clear save for gym equipment, including a large trampoline, crash mats, workout bars and springboards.

There was even a small coffee stand over in the corner, but when Steve looked he saw it was currently unmanned.

The only other person in the gym was a woman over in the far corner, high kicking and jabbing at a shiny black punching bag.

Steve sighed lightly and walked over there.

As he approached, he couldn't help notice the woman's lithe figure in her form fitting leggings and top. Compression wear was something new to Steve, yet he'd discovered he liked it.

He liked it a lot. 

"Excuse me for interrupting," Steve began, as she stopped beating up the punch bag and turned to face him. "I was told to..." Steve trailed off, hardly believing his eyes. " _Bucky?_ "

"Captain Rogers," she replied, pulling off her right glove and offering her hand out. "It's an honor to meet you."

Steve was reeling, again. He took her hand, touching her very gently, though she gave him a firm handshake in response.

She was real.

Steve openly stared at her face, shocked at how much she looked like Bucky... if Bucky were a woman. The pale blue eyes, the nose, the mouth. Her face shape, even her chin were exactly how Steve remembered.

Her hair was dark, pulled back from her face and tied in a bun. The long hair was the one thing that seemed so starkly different, reminded Steve that this wasn't the Bucky he knew.

Well, that and she had some pretty big boobs. Steve made himself look away from her tight tank top and looked into her eyes. "I-I'm sorry, you..."

"I look like him?" She chuckled, and it broke Steve's heart to hear it sound so familiar. "Yeah. I'll take it as a compliment," she said. "He was a handsome guy. Full disclosure, Captain; Becca Barnes is my grandmother."

"Becca..." Steve's eyes widened. "Bucky's sister, Becca?"

"That's right." She nodded. "My legal name is Barnes-Proctor, but I'm Agent Barnes here at SHIELD. Please, call me Bucky."

"You... They named you Bucky?" Steve asked.

"It's a nickname, you know how it is." She smiled at him and pulled off her other glove, revealing a shiny metal hand. "I'm a senior agent and I'm here to assist you in any way."

This was too much, Steve thought. And yet, in a weird way he felt like Bucky was right there with him again and Steve was relieved.

"Becca isn't... she isn't alive, is she?" Steve asked. "I checked, it said..."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, she passed a few years ago." Bucky's mouth did that thing where it tilted up in a half smile. "She had a good life. Missed her brother, though. Talked about him, and you, a lot."

Grief hit Steve then, slammed into him. "I tried," he choked out, hot tears filling his eyes, "I couldn't..."

"Hey. It's okay." Bucky stepped forward, and pulled him into a hug like it was the most natural thing in the world. And to Steve, it was.

Well, aside from the fact that her boobs were now squashed up against him. That was new.

"It's okay," she murmured, holding onto him. She was tall, with an athlete's build and strength. Steve didn't worry he'd knock her over accidentally or anything, and he probably should've apologised for losing his cool, but...

He put his arms around her and held on. "I'm sorry," he whispered, closing his eyes, "I tried..."

"I know," she replied softly, running her hands over his back in a comforting motion. "It's okay. Everything will be alright."


	2. Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be

"Here," Bucky said, handing over an ice cream cone.

Steve smiled as he took it. "Thanks. I hope ice cream doesn't taste any different?"

"This soft scoop should be what you remember." Bucky smiled at him as she stuck the top curl of ice cream in her mouth.

Steve did the same, unable to take his eyes off her.

They'd come to Bryant Park, a few blocks down from the SHIELD office. Bucky had said going out for a walk would help, and Steve did feel better out in the open air.

Bucky had thrown on a baggy t-shirt over her tank, and with the two of them dressed in sports casuals they looked like any other couple out jogging in the crisp mid morning.

They strolled away from the refreshment stand, licking their ice creams in companionable quiet.

As much as it was a shock to meet her (boy, was it a shock), Steve felt comfortable in her presence. Despite the uncanny resemblance to his best friend, she was also part of Bucky's extended family, and Bucky's family had always felt like Steve's own family.

"Can I ask you something?" Steve said, as they strolled along the tree lined path.

She shot him a knowing smile. "You probably have a lot of questions, and I don't mind answering them. Shoot."

Steve smiled back, and felt put at ease by her openness. "What's your first name?"

"Jess," she replied. "It was gram who started calling me Bucky, when I was a kid. It stuck."

"You mean Becca?"

"Yup." Bucky slurped on her ice cream. "She said I reminded her of him, and I was a bit of a tomboy back then. Both my parents worked, so she took care of me a lot. We were real close."

"Becca was always kind to me," Steve offered, which earned him another smile.

"She was great," Bucky said. "She could yell pretty good when I misbehaved, though."

Steve chuckled, images flashing in his mind of a young Bucky rough-housing at home and getting yelled at by Winifred Barnes.

"How's the rest of the family?" he asked. Though if Winifred, George and Becca were gone too, then Steve probably wouldn't know anyone else.

"They're fine," Bucky told him. "Most are still in or around Brooklyn."

Steve nodded, his mind filling with images again.

"You'd be welcome to come and meet them," Bucky said. "I'm sure they'd love to meet you."

The thought of that made Steve's chest constrict, his airways close up. He had to force himself to breathe, and he shook his head. "I-I don't think I could, it's..."

Too painful, he wanted to say. After all, he was the reason Bucky had died. Bucky had slipped right through his fingers, and fallen. If Steve had just held on, Bucky wouldn't have died.

They were walking by an empty bench, and perhaps Bucky sensed Steve's distress as she suggested that they sit down.

Steve sat, grateful to be still for a moment. His mind was reeling again, picturing himself meeting Bucky's family and them blaming him for his death.

Steve couldn't do it, he couldn't meet them.

"Hey," Bucky said gently, sitting close to him. "Talk to me."

Steve shook his head, forced a smile onto his face. "Sorry. Just... thinking."

"Yeah." She watched him closely, and Steve couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with her. "You do that a lot, huh?"

A wry chuckle escaped Steve. She wasn't wrong.

"I just... I don't think I could face them," he admitted.

Bucky was quiet a moment, then said gently, "Captain..."

Steve winced at that. "Steve, please."

"Steve," she amended. "Look, things have changed a lot, some for the better. It's recognised now that survivor's guilt is a thing, and sometimes it helps to talk about it."

What good would that do, Steve thought but he didn't say.

"I see a therapist myself," Bucky went on, which made Steve look up. She nodded, pulling a face like she knew it sounded corny. "Yeah. Sometimes it's good to just let it all out. On a trained professional." She tilted her head at him and smiled. "Or a friend."

Steve couldn't help but smile back. "Thank you. I'll bear it in mind."

"Okay," she said, and took another lick of her melting cone. "In the meantime, ice cream works wonders."

Steve laughed and he licked his cone too, before it melted over his hand.

They stayed on the bench, finishing their ice creams and watching people walk by.

"How old are you?" Steve asked, one of the many burning questions he had.

"Twenty-eight," she said. "About the same as you."

Steve nodded. "Well, only if you don't count the years I was frozen."

"If you weren't awake, they don't count," she said easily.

"How long have you worked for SHIELD?" he asked next.

"Ten years."

Steve looked at her. "Ten? Really?"

"Yeah." She grinned. "I got headhunted early. Kinda got myself into a bit of trouble as a teenager, hacking into stuff. Anyway, SHIELD liked what I did, and I started in computer crimes, made my way up from there."

"I see," Steve said, though he wasn't sure what computer crimes was about. "What do you do now, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Field agent," she said, with a small smile that hinted she was proud of her role. "I go on solo missions a lot, or sometimes work on teams."

Steve nodded along. "Right. And you... you like it? Working for SHIELD?"

"I feel as though I can make a difference," Bucky said, vague but seeming genuine. "I'm at a point now where I have a lot of say in my missions, and that suits me."

That, Steve understood.

"Has Fury been on your case to sign up?" she asked with a grin.

Steve smiled despite himself. "Well. Yeah, I guess. I don't really know what he wants me to do, though."

"Has he introduced you to Tony yet?" Bucky asked.

"Tony...?"

"Stark."

Steve's eyes went wide. "No? Are they...?"

"Tony is Howard's son," Bucky said. "He's been flying solo, shall we say, and Fury's had his eye on him lately."

"What does Tony do?" Steve asked, which had Bucky grinning again.

"How about I take you to meet him later in the week, and you can see for yourself?"

Steve shrugged a shoulder. "Sure. Is he like his dad?"

"By all accounts."

"But he doesn't work for SHIELD?"

"No, Tony's been working on his own for so long, it may take more to convince him to be a team player," Bucky said.

"Fury said something about a team of special people," Steve hedged. "What does that mean?"

"He's looking for heroes, Steve," Bucky said. "He wants to be prepared. There's more threats out there than we know."

An image of Johann Schmidt's ghastly red face and the glowing blue cube flashed through Steve's mind. He exhaled lightly. "Yeah, I know."

"Look, don't make up your mind just yet," Bucky told him. "But give Fury a chance. In the meantime, we can go over some basic training and refreshers for you, if you want? At the very least you probably want to hear about how first aid in the field has advanced, and what SHIELD can do?"

"Okay," Steve said, glancing briefly at Bucky's shiny left arm. "I guess we can do that."

"Great." She beamed at him. "If you wanna head back in with me, I have a fun game we can play."

They went back to SHIELD, and into the private gym.

The game Bucky wanted to play was something Steve remembered from Basic.

"Flag rugby," she said, pulling a long scrap of material taut in her hands. "Stick it in your pocket, and I'll try to take it from you."

Steve smiled wryly as he accepted the flag. "Sure," he said, tucking it into his back pocket.

Bucky smiled back at him as she picked up the hem of her t-shirt, pulling it over her head. Steve's eyes drifted down, checking out her curves in the tight tank top.

Bucky tossed the shirt aside and smiled at him. A few wisps of hair escaped from her bun, falling around her face. "Oh, Steve, you have a little something..." she said, stepping forward with her hand outstretched.

Steve went rigid as she came close, his brain whiting out. Bucky laughed as she yanked the flag out his pocket and stepped back.

"That was easy," she teased, dangling the flag in front of him.

Steve had to smile. "Ha, ha," he said, and held his hand out. "Let's try that again."

She handed the flag back and Steve stuffed it into his pocket. This time he backed away.

"Try to get it now," he said.

"With pleasure," she replied, striding forward.

Steve turned and took off at a run, expecting to put some distance between them fast.

Except when Steve glanced around he saw with surprise that Bucky was sprinting after him, and gaining on him fast.

Steve changed tact and doubled back, traversing across the room. Bucky followed him, calmly giving chase.

"So, you're fast!" Steve called out, dodging gym equipment as they ran around the room.

"I'm a lot of things," she replied, then ran up a springboard and leapt high into the air.

Steve slowed his pace as he watched in awe: Bucky twisted through the air like a gymnast, landing neatly on the floor just in front of him. Steve stopped in his tracks.

"Nice move," he said, as Bucky smiled at him.

"Thanks." She reached out to grab the flag from his back pocket, but Steve grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"You haven't got it yet," he said, looking into her pale blue eyes.

"Oh?" she teased, then used her metal arm to shove him away with force.

Steve was lucky enough to land on the nearby crash mat, staring up at the ceiling wondering what had happened.

Bucky strolled into view, dangling the flag at him. "You were saying?"

Steve smiled. "Okay, so you're strong, too." He got to his feet, looking her up and down curiously. "Are you... like me?"

"Not exactly," she said. "Pretty much everyone has tried to replicate your serum over the years. Spoiler alert, no one's ever replicated it completely. SHIELD did find, however, that their version helped people who were injured in the field and have to carry around a heavy prosthetic." She held up her metal left hand. "Like me."

"You volunteered for the serum?" Steve asked.

Bucky nodded. "I did. Pretty pleased with it so far." She smirked at him. "Care to go again, Captain?"

Steve chuckled. "Alright. Why don't I try to take the flag from you this time?"

"Well, good luck with that," Bucky said, reaching around to tuck the flag into the waistband of her leggings.

Steve's eyes lingered on her, and she noticed him looking but didn't call him out on it.

"Ready?" she asked, seemingly enjoying the game.

Steve supposed he was, too. "Ready," he confirmed.

Bucky didn't run away like Steve had expected: she stood there waiting for him, raising her eyebrows in challenge.

Steve liked a challenge.

He stepped up to her and made his move to grab the flag. Bucky deflected him easily, and the blow from her metal arm stung a bit. Steve tried again, using more force this time.

Bucky deflected him again, twisting her body away just enough that the flag barely brushed Steve's outstretched fingers before she knocked his arm back and kneed him in the gut.

Steve stumbled back with a grunt, but he wasn't giving up.

They went hand to hand again, though it was clear that sheer strength wouldn't beat Bucky: she was too fast and too experienced in close quarter combat. Steve wasn't as experienced one on one, he'd been used as one against many, always throwing himself in like a canon ball to knock back as many soldiers as possible with brute force. Bucky used Steve's momentum against him every time, so his strength was no use here.

"Are you even trying?" Bucky taunted him, blocking Steve's arm with her metal one.

Steve changed tactic, and ducked down to tackle her around the middle. He tried to grab the flag but Bucky had already slipped out of his grasp and wrapped herself around his neck and shoulders. Steve found himself thrown onto the crash mat again, this time with Bucky on top of him. She had him in a tight hold, so Steve mumbled, "Uncle..."

She laughed and let him go, rolling away to stand up in one fluid motion. "Want to try again?" she asked, as Steve lay there panting.

"Um, maybe in a minute," he said.

Bucky stepped in closer to look down on him, hands on her hips. "You know, I can teach you all these moves. You have what it takes, you just need the technique."

"Thanks," Steve said, smiling as he made to sit up. "I'll bear that in mind." He lunged forward, making a grab for her legs. Bucky neatly sidestepped him then dropped down to straddle his upper body, pinning his arms.

"You telegraph your moves," she told him. "We need to work on your poker face."

Steve laughed at that. "I'm terrible at poker." He used all his strength to rear up, throwing Bucky off as he rolled over. Bucky fell easily into a backflip and was out of Steve's reach once again.

"Alright, uncle," Steve said, chuckling. "I give up. You win."

"Now, I don't believe that for a moment," Bucky taunted, standing with her hands on his hips again and smiling.

She looked amazing, and Steve realised if he didn't stop staring at her he was in serious danger of getting hot under the collar.

His cheeks flushed as he got to his feet. "Um, can we try something else?"

"Sure," Bucky said, pulling out the flag and balling it up. "You like to box, right?"

Steve nodded.

"Great, then we'll start there," she said decidedly. "Let me get the training pads."

Oh, boy, Steve thought.


	3. Take my hand, take my whole life too

"Had enough yet, Captain?" Bucky teased.

They'd worked through well into the afternoon, stopping for a couple snack breaks but Steve's stomach had started rumbling audibly.

"I'm fine," Steve replied, patting his training pads together before holding his hands up. "I can do this all day."

Bucky smiled. She'd gotten him in the padding because she wanted to check out his defence moves, but when the poor man's stomach rumbled again she decided to call it a day.

"You know, I'm kinda peckish," she said, which wasn't untrue. And if she was peckish, then Steve was bound to be hungry. "How about you?"

The mention of food made Steve pause, his defensive stance dropping. "I could eat," he said, sounding quietly hopeful.

Bucky had to school her features so she didn't smile. The captain was endearing in ways she hadn't been prepared for.

"Let's break for a proper meal," she said decidedly. "We covered a lot of ground today."

"Yeah, I have the bruises to prove it," Steve quipped, removing the pads from his hands.

Bucky couldn't help a laugh. "Hey, you gave me a few in return." She watched him for a moment as he took off the chest plate next, her eyes fixing on his sculpted upper body and bulging pectorals. Seriously, she thought, this man needed a shirt that fit him, but also maybe not because then where would her eyes go.

And it wasn't like Bucky hadn't noticed Steve's eyes linger at _her_ chest either, so turnabout was fair play.

"Pads go over here," she told him, pointing to the side. "You know where the changing rooms are?"

Steve looked up at her with a blank expression and then his eyes did the thing again where they drifted down to her boobs.

Bucky tried not to smile.

"No, I don't think so," Steve said, setting down the pads.

"Come on," Bucky told him. "Let's hit the showers then get some food."

"From here?" Steve asked, glancing over to the little refreshment stand with its sandwiches and snacks.

Bucky snickered. "No, proper food. Meet me by the elevators in twenty minutes."

After showing Steve to the changing room and the stash of clean civilian clothes reserved for SHIELD agents, Bucky left him in peace to get changed.

Her locker was in another part of the changing room. She stripped off her Under Armor, clipped her hair up and grabbed her things to take a quick shower. She put on a small robe, her flip flops, and picked out a clean towel.

As she was walking in there she bumped into Steve, who started in surprise and almost dropped the small towel around his waist.

"Sorry, I..." Steve looked around like he was lost. "I must've come in the wrong room."

Bucky was only human, and her eyes had already taken a trip south to check out Steve's body. He was absolutely _ripped_.

Focus, Bucky.

"Shower's are co-ed," she told him, forcing herself to look up and smile. "I probably should've mentioned that. Sorry."

"Oh." Steve still looked like a deer in headlights, so Bucky gestured for him to follow her.

"Stalls are over here, or you can go under the communal part over there but the policy is you gotta wear a swimsuit."

"Um, a stall is fine," Steve said, his face turning a pretty shade of pink.

Bucky bit her lip to stop from smiling, and they each went into a stall. It then occurred to her that SHIELD's high tech touch operated shower might confuse Steve, but surprisingly she heard the spray turn on so he'd clearly figured it out.

Steve was quick, that was for sure.

Bucky turned on her own shower and got to work washing. She debated on washing her hair too because she'd worked up a sweat, but also if she washed her hair now she'd look a mess over dinner and she didn't want to look a mess in front of Steve.

Dilemma, she thought. Okay, no hair wash: that'd have to wait until she got home. She kept her hair up and got on with washing herself, listening out for Steve in the next stall but he seemed to be minding his own business in there.

Bucky decided to give the guy a break, so she finished up quickly and turned her shower off.

"Listen, I'll be in the changing room section on the right," she called to him. "If you need me or anything. Otherwise, take your time and I'll wait for you by the elevators."

"Okay," Steve replied, voice somewhat hitched. "Thank you!"

"No problem," Bucky replied, her eyes burning a hole in the cubicle door. She shook her head and made herself turn around.

God, she was _never_ like this. But then, she hadn't dated in forever, either.

Damn, she thought, unable to wipe the image of Steve's naked chest and thick biceps from her mind's eye. She quick marched back to her locker and got changed very quickly.

She had lots of clothes stashed in there to suit most occasions, and Bucky found herself reaching for the cute clothes: tight jeans and boots, the nice top and the cute jacket.

This wasn't for Steve's benefit at all, she told herself, as she also put on a push up bra.

Okay, maybe it was, she thought, pulling on the top and the jeans. Who could blame her? Steve was... he was very sweet and humble for a bone fide superhero. Not to mention he was also incredibly handsome.

Maybe over dinner she'd find out he was a Republican or something and his entire image would be ruined.

Bucky used the mirror in her locker to brush out her hair and fix it into a slightly dishevelled bun. She was about to close her locker when she paused, and grabbed her make-up bag.

"You're an idiot," she muttered to herself, lashing on some mascara followed by a subtle pink lip gloss.

Finally, she slammed the locker shut and grabbed her bag, and high tailed it out of there. Poor Steve was still in the showers, so she figured he was waiting for her to leave.

They were lucky the changing rooms had been empty, though she knew Fury had made sure these ones weren't being used today unless there was an emergency.

Bucky headed to the elevators and got out her phone to have something to fiddle with while she waited for Steve.

There was a text from Nat saying hi. Bucky texted back, _How's Stark Industries treating you?_ _They got better health cover than us?_

Nat texted back immediately with a couple laughing face emojis. _Funny,_ she replied. _I wouldn't know, I'm not actually on their payroll._

 _An outrage_ , Bucky replied. _Is Tony still sick?_

 _No, he's better now_ , Nat texted. _Btw he was mad when he found out I was a plant, but I think I'm forgiven :)_

 _Good_ , Bucky replied. _I was thinking of going to see him later in the week._

Depending on Steve, of course.

Nat texted back, _I thought you were babysitting?_

Bucky snorted at that. _I am_ , she replied, _and I think he should meet Tony._

 _Well, good luck!_ Nat texted. _Better this week than two weeks ago. Even Fury had to come and give Tony a pep talk._

 _Rip,_ Bucky replied, then looked up as she heard footsteps. Steve approached, dressed now, and giving her a shy sort of smile.

"Hey," Bucky said, pleased to see him. He looked good too, softer in the loose fit sports casuals from the SHIELD civvies locker. "Lemme just..." Bucky looked at her screen quickly as she typed out, _gtg. Cu later x._

"You don't have to rush," Steve said, but Bucky put her phone away and smiled at him.

"No, it's fine. You ready to eat?"

"Sure."

They headed down in the elevator and exited the SHIELD office together.

"Have you got a phone yet?" Bucky asked him, as she led the way down the street.

"Um, I think there's a couple in boxes back at the..." Steve trailed off as a few car horns all blared loudly.

He seemed distracted by the traffic noise in ways that most New Yorkers weren't. That, or he was jumpy being a Vet.

"Noisy, huh?" Bucky said, making conversation.

Steve was still staring out at the traffic, like he was unsure what'd caused the ruckus. "Yeah, it's... so busy on the streets. I can't get over it."

Bucky nodded. Maybe that was it, then. Cars in the '40s wouldn't have been this noisy, and there wouldn't have been this many either, so it was bound to feel different to him.

"We're only going a couple blocks," Bucky told him, "but I know a quieter route." She indicated down an alley between a hotel and another building. "This way."

Steve followed along behind her and they quietly walked down the narrow alley past dumpsters and service entrances to the buildings. There were a couple guys in kitchen overalls having a smoke in one of the doors, and they looked at Bucky and Steve curiously as they passed by.

The general public had no idea yet that Captain America had been found, let alone was alive and walking among them, so it couldn't have been that they recognised Steve. Bucky figured it was more a just being curious sort of checking out, and she was used to that being a woman.

She was a bit surprised when Steve quickened his pace to match hers and angled his body to shield her from them. It was subtle but protective, and Bucky couldn't help wondering if that was just a Steve thing he did with women or if it was just for her.

The warm fuzzy feeling in her chest indicated that she wanted it to be just for her.

Well. She figured, who wouldn't?

They reached the mouth of the alley and Bucky gestured left. "It's this way," she said, smiling up at Steve.

He smiled back at her, and for a moment Bucky had the most intense feeling of deja vu: of wandering around back alleys with Steve, that same smile on his face.

Oh, great, she thought, the deja vu again. She'd had those since she was a kid, especially around parts of the city.

She shook her head and focused on the task at hand: get food into them both. There was a cosy little Italian on the corner, and Bucky liked it because it was quiet and the food was amazing.

It was a good time to come, way after lunch and before the early evening rush started. They got seated in no time and slid into a booth facing each other.

"You can order what you want," Bucky told him as she picked up a menu. "It's on SHIELD's dime."

"Uh, are you sure?" Steve asked.

"Hell, yeah." Bucky grinned at him. "In fact, we could start with pizza and mozzarella sticks? Then move onto second course when we're less starving."

Steve's eyes lit up. "Okay."

They ate three pizzas between them, with a few sides.

Bucky definitely noticed Steve relax more after eating. Good old carbs, she thought. She suggested they have a breather before ordering the next round, and she ordered mineral water for herself.

"I'll, uh, have the same," Steve told the waiter.

"You can drink something else if you want," Bucky told him, but Steve only smiled as the waiter left.

"Alcohol and coffee has no effect on me, so may as well stick with water."

Bucky smiled wryly. "Yeah. I noticed that too. I mean, I can feel the effect if I drink enough in a short space of time, but it won't last."

"Right." Steve nodded, listening intently. "Yeah, it's... it kinda sucks sometimes." He looked down at the table, seeming sad.

Bucky watched him closely, wondering how and when to broach the subject of self care again. Maybe tonight would be too soon. Poor guy'd had a lot of new things shoved into his face lately.

"The plus side is," Bucky said, injecting cheer in her voice, "not needing caffeine in the morning unlike practically everyone I know."

This earned a small smile from Steve.

"Have you been in Starbucks yet?" she asked him.

He looked at her and shook his head.

"Right!" Bucky smacked the table lightly for humorous effect. "Then tomorrow, we'll make a Starbucks run. That could be our lunch."

Steve's smile grew. "So... this is a regular thing?"

"Sure." Bucky nodded. "If you want me."

The words were already out of her mouth when Bucky realised what she'd said and felt her own cheeks pink a bit.

Damn those Freudian slips, she thought.

"For training," she added.

Smooth going. This wasn't like her at all.

Steve, on the other hand, was smirking at her now. "I figured," he said dryly.

Bucky wanted to ask what _that_ meant, but she was already making a mess of things, so.

Next time.

And in the meantime she'd try to push all thoughts of _Steve wanting her_ down where she couldn't reach them. Be professional, she told herself.

Or be a friend, but don't hit on the poor man when he's only just been thawed out. The thought of Steve encased in ice for all those years tugged at her heartstrings, and actually helped her focus.

"So," she said, all business again, "what I'd like to do, if you're happy to go ahead with training, is do an introduction to mixed martial arts to see where you're at. Like we did today, but broader and more intense. Then I can see what we should work on first. Plus, refreshing your basic skills like first aid. SHIELD has whole courses for anything you want."

Steve nodded along, although _now_ he had a poker face on. Bucky couldn't read him. "Okay," he said easily, voice not giving anything away either. "How long are we talking about here?"

Bucky smiled. "I'm sure Fury would like to bring you on board officially, and that means a SHIELD paycheck. But I told him to leave you alone for a while so you can decide. I think you've earned some downtime. Maybe a vacation?"

Steve shook his head, a firm little shake. "I don't need a vacation."

"Then we'll stick with my program," Bucky replied, though she made a mental note to take it easy on Steve for now and schedule in a lot of breaks. He may think he didn't need a vacation but everyone needed downtime, especially if they'd just come out of a warzone like Steve had.

"I'd like to look at what courses SHIELD has," Steve said.

"Absolutely," Bucky said. "I'll have that information for you tomorrow. There's a really good sports therapy and Pilates course, I'd recommend them for sure."

"Thanks." Steve smiled, just a little. "I'll bear it in mind."

"Good." Bucky smiled back, though she sensed Steve was getting a little weary. Talk of SHIELD or the future seemed to make him uneasy, which was fair enough. She quickly changed the subject again and slid the menu back under Steve's nose. "Ready to order? I'm going to recommend you try the pasta... this one," she said, leaning across the table so she could read his menu upside down and point.

She really hadn't meant to flaunt her cleavage under Steve's nose, but it was second nature to her to be a bit flirty. Bucky looked up and caught Steve's eyes briefly linger on her boobs, and that warm fuzzy feeling in her chest came back.

"I'm going to have another pizza," she said, sitting back in her chair and picking up a menu, "because I just can't help myself."

Steve chuckled lightly. "So you want me to try pasta, but you're sticking with pizza?"

"I've had the pasta before," Bucky replied. "Or, just order whatever. It's your choice."

"No, I'll get the pasta," Steve said.

"You don't have to," Bucky told him. "Get whatever you want."

"Bucky," Steve said on a laugh. "It's not a problem, really."

There it was again, Bucky thought, as she listened to Steve's laugh. The way he'd said her name echoed around her head too. That familiarity, the deja vu, like they'd had this argument a hundred times before.

Huh, she thought, and made a point of examining her menu so she didn't have to think about it.

Stuffed full of food, they left the restaurant and headed back out onto the street.

It was after five and the rush hour traffic was at gridlock, horns blaring frequently. Steve didn't seem as jumpy now, and Bucky made sure to lead him down quieter streets this time.

"You need me to call you a car?" she asked him, as they walked side by side. "You're still in that apartment SHIELD rented for you, right?"

She knew he was, she was just making conversation.

"Uh, yeah," Steve said, hesitant. "No, I'm okay. I like to walk around a bit."

Bucky wasn't sure about that, a feeling of worry nagging for his welfare. But she also recognised the need to be alone in a city, and Steve was a big boy.

"If that's what you want," she replied. "Well, I'm only a few blocks that way." She indicated uptown. "You want to walk with me?"

"Sure," Steve said, seeming buoyed to have something to do.

Bucky smiled: she'd figured he wouldn't say no. A perfect gentleman.

And, she found out as they strolled along and chatted, Steve was definitely not a Republican.

In fact, she wondered if Steve had any flaws, though that was some wishful thinking on her part: everyone was human. Steve was pretty incredible, though. He was just so nice, and being with him was easy, like being with an old friend.

Bucky didn't let just anyone know where she'd be staying either, this was only for Steve. She wanted him to know where he could reach her if there was an emergency, so she was staying in one of her rented places near to the SHIELD office.

Tomorrow, she'd make sure Steve had a working phone. For now, this would have to do.

They reached her building and Bucky smiled at him. "This is me. You sure you don't want a car or anything?"

"Won't get far in this traffic," Steve quipped, hands in his pockets. "Nah, I'm fine. I like to walk."

"As long as you show up tomorrow morning," Bucky told him, smiling happily. "Fury would kill me if I'd scared you off."

Steve broke into a smile, his eyes crinkling up. "No, don't worry. I'll be there."

"Great." Bucky was relieved. "Well... goodnight, then."

"Goodnight, Buck," Steve said, then his eyes widened as he quickly added, "Bucky. Sorry."

"It's fine," Bucky said. "You people with one syllable names always shortening everyone else's all the time. I'm used to it."

Steve laughed, and that's exactly what Bucky had wanted. Steve had a nice laugh, big and hearty.

"You're right," he said, then inclined his head at her. "Goodnight. Thanks for... today."

"Hey, any time," she said, meaning it. "See you tomorrow." She forced herself to turn around and step away, before things got awkward or anything. It kind of felt like the end of the date, and wasn't that odd.

She did turn and give Steve a wave before she entered her building, as he was still standing there watching her go in. He removed one hand from his pocket to wave in turn, and he looked so heart-breakingly alone standing there it physically hurt Bucky to close the door on him.

"Goodnight, Steve," she said softly once the door was shut. "See you tomorrow."


	4. For I can't help falling in love with you

Steve couldn't deny he felt a certain spring in his step the next morning as he walked through the New York City streets to the SHIELD office.

Truthfully, he couldn't wait to see Bucky again. He'd barely slept thinking about her, thinking about how incredible it was that a relative of _his_ Bucky would be right here when Steve woke up, at the same age as him too and in the same line of work.

It was almost unbelievable but then, everything about Steve's life had been unbelievable because he just seemed to keep on living when by all accounts he should've been dead long ago.

Steve found it better not to dwell on those facts, had been trying not to dwell on it from a young age when all doctors and other adults he'd ever met had declared him a lost cause due to his health and predicted he'd be dead before twenty.

And Steve was still here.

He walked down Broadway with his head held high, trying not to jump or jerk with every traffic noise. Steve focused on the SHIELD office coming into view, and this time when he entered the building and approached security he had a smile on his face.

"Good morning," he greeted the security personnel, who shared a surprised look between them before smiling back at him and wishing him a good morning too.

When he was safely through the scanners, Steve was stopped by a young man, probably the youngest on the security team. "Excuse me, Captain Rogers?" the young man said quietly.

Steve looked at him, paused halfway putting his wallet back in his pocket. "Yes?"

"Um, we're not supposed to bother you, but, well..." The young man babbled nervously, adjusting the hat on his head. "But you're my hero. I had asthma as a kid, and when I read in history class that you did too, it always gave me hope, and I never gave up because of you. I just wanted you to know that."

Steve was so taken aback, he didn't know what to say. "You don't have asthma now?"

"It's not as bad now." The young man beamed. "I was lucky. But I gotta be prepared in case, you know?"

"Yeah." Steve smiled at him. "Being prepared is good." He wasn't sure what else to do, so he reached out and sort of patted the kid's shoulder, like he would've done with any of the younger soldiers to boost their morale. "Keep up the good work..." He looked at the name tag on the man's jacket. "Ferrera."

"Thank you, sir," the kid beamed again. "I will, sir. You have a good day."

Steve nodded at him and walked away, crossing the open reception center.

It'd been a while since he'd been fanned: Steve and the Howlies hadn't been with many American civilians the last few months, having been stationed over in Europe and on top secret missions...

Well, Steve mentally corrected himself, more than a few months. But that's how long it felt to him.

He sighed lightly and took the elevator up to the gym level. When the elevator doors pinged open, Steve was pleasantly surprised to see Bucky across the hall: she was holding a tray of cups in hand and talking to another woman, a redhead.

They stopped their chat and looked at Steve as he approached.

"Morning!" Bucky greeted him with a smile. "You caught me. I went for Starbucks." She indicated the tray of white cups she was holding.

Steve counted four cups. "The coffee place?"

"Right," Bucky said, then glanced at her companion. "Uh, Steve this is Agent Romanov. She's a SHIELD agent too."

The redhead smiled neutrally and extended her hand. "Natasha Romanov."

Steve took her hand and shook it. "Steve Rogers. How do you do."

"Aw, how cute." Romanov chuckled, side eyeing Bucky. "I do very well, thank you for asking."

Steve got the distinct impression she was teasing him, but it seemed more directed at Bucky than at him. He noticed the looks the two women were giving each other, having an entire conversation with eyes and facial expression alone.

" _Anyway_ ," Bucky said, "thanks, Nat, and I'll catch up with you later."

"Yeah," Romanov replied, grinning like a shark as she looked from Bucky to Steve, then back to Bucky again. "Hey, so, I can bring Agent Barton down this afternoon for some extra training."

"No, thank you," Bucky said firmly. "I have a schedule."

"But extra training is always useful," Romanov countered.

"I have a schedule," Bucky insisted, giving Romanov a pointed look.

Steve looked between the two women like he was at a tennis match. He figured there was something going on there, but he couldn't figure out what.

"You should be more spontaneous," Romanov told Bucky, as Bucky rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, 'bye, Nat," Bucky said, forcibly cheerful. She grabbed onto Steve's arm and ushered him toward the gym door.

"Alright, I can take a hint," Romanov said, seemingly amused. "A pleasure to meet you!" she called after Steve.

Steve barely had a chance to look over his shoulder at her before Bucky manhandled him through the door and shut it behind them.

"Jesus wept," Bucky muttered under her breath, quiet but Steve heard it.

Funny, that was exactly how the Bucky he knew had always expressed his frustration too. Maybe it was a family thing, Steve wondered.

"Sorry about that," Bucky told him, smiling shyly. "I swear this place is more like a high school than a government agency sometimes."

"Oh?" Steve said, following Bucky across the floor. She was headed for the small coffee stand, and set her drinks down on a table.

"Nat means well," Bucky explained, taking the cups out of the tray, "she's just nosy. And Barton is even worse, so if they show up later I'll have strong words for the both of them."

Steve smirked, because so much of this seemed familiar to him: Bucky getting huffy over something that otherwise went over Steve's head, and bitching about other people messing up his routine.

It had to be a Barnes thing, surely.

"Maybe we should step out so they don't find us?" Steve suggested.

Bucky looked up at him with wide eyes. "Steve, you're a genius," she said. "That's exactly what we'll do. Screw it, we can train in the park. It's a nice day."

"Works for me." Steve shrugged. He glanced down at all the cups. "Better hurry up and drink your coffee, in that case."

Bucky laughed. "They're not for me. Well, I'll drink what you don't like." She tucked a stray lock of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. "I figured you should get a headstart for Starbucks so I grabbed a few choices." She gestured at the chairs, so Steve sat down and Bucky sat opposite him.

"What am I tasting?" he asked.

"Have you tried cold coffee?" Bucky asked, sliding a cup across the table.

"Only when we couldn't light a fire," Steve said, giving the cup a dubious look.

"This won't be the same thing," Bucky said. "It's an iced latte."

Steve raised an eyebrow. He didn't know what that meant, but he was game to try. The cup was icy to the touch, and had a straw at the top. Steve took it and stuck the straw in his mouth, sipping tentatively.

The flavor was a surprise, because it tasted nice. Milky but with a strong coffee flavor. Steve made a considering face. "Not bad."

Bucky nodded. "I noticed you didn't add any sugar to your coffee yesterday."

"Well, no," Steve chuckled, "sugar was rationed."

"Okay, so try a caramel latte next..." Bucky pushed another cup at him.

This cup was warm, and Steve took a careful sip. As soon as the sweet coffee flavor hit his tongue, Steve knew he'd discovered a winner.

"That's good," he said, smiling at Bucky.

She looked pleased. "Excellent. Oh, I have something for you..." She dug in her pocket and produced one of those slim handheld phones that everyone seemed to have now. She placed it onto the table in front of Steve. "I had a spare, so I tinkered with it last night and set it up for you."

She'd spent last night doing something for him? Steve felt a warm sensation in his chest.

"Thank you," he said, though he wasn't in a hurry to use the device. To be polite, he picked up the phone and looked at it. The screen remained blank.

"I know you said you got those SHIELD ones back home," Bucky went on, "and you can use whatever you're comfortable with, but... Well, let's say you don't want a SHIELD phone, then this is a better option."

Steve understood. She was giving him a device that was independent of SHIELD. He appreciated that.

"It's Stark Tech," Bucky explained, leaning over the table to tap the phone's screen with her finger so it lit up with a clock and a pretty landscape picture.

"Stark Tech? Howard?" Steve asked.

"Well, yeah," Bucky replied, "but he died before phones really came into play, so it's more Tony. He took over the company after his dad died."

"I see." Steve tried to pay attention to the phone in his hand, and not at Bucky as she sat back down in her chair.

She had on the same compressionwear today, with a baggy t-shirt on top so Steve couldn't see her boobs except for a faint outline.

Maybe that was for the best, he thought, diverting his eyes to the phone.

"There's a lot of functions on it," Bucky explained. "Basically anything you can think of, it'll be there. I've also loaded it up with information on those SHIELD courses you were interested in. I'll show you how to access the files and you can read them whenever you want."

Steve nodded. "Thank you."

"No problem." Bucky smiled at him. "How about I show you the basics of this phone, we finish our coffee and then high tail it out of here and head to a park?"

Steve smiled back. "Sure. Sounds good."

They slipped out of the SHIELD office an hour later.

Bucky suggested they get a sandwich for a light 'brunch', and stopped at a little deli where they got fresh subs. They ate their sandwiches walking along, and despite being out on the noisy streets again, Steve was enjoying it more today.

He was happy to spend time with Bucky, feeling like he had a sense of purpose that he hadn't had yesterday. Bucky kept suggesting things they could do, like reminding him about visiting Tony Stark, or taking in some of the sights together. Steve felt considerably less overwhelmed by life with the assurance that Bucky would be by his side. He didn't even care if SHIELD had put her up to it or not, she was a Barnes and she had history with Steve with or without SHIELD.

Steve didn't know what he would've done without her, if he was honest with himself.

After they finished their subs, Bucky made Steve get his phone out so he could learn about certain apps. She guided him through it, telling him where to find the apps she'd already loaded on there, like the maps and various food finder ones.

Steve had to smile at the food one. She knew him so well already.

He also noticed there was an app with an iron shield logo called Stark Secure.

"What's this one?" he asked, as Bucky leaned over to look at his screen.

"Oh, it's security," Bucky replied casually. "It's Stark Tech, keeps you invisible to other companies who want your data. I got the extra features so you can browse the web in peace."

"I couldn't before?" Steve asked. He had a tablet and laptop in his apartment, given to him by SHIELD.

"You can, but your movements will be monitored," Bucky told him with a sidelong smile. "Not just SHIELD, if that's what you're wondering. It's simply how modern tech works now. They want to know every detail about you so they can sell your data and advertise to you."

"Huh," Steve said, feeling oddly violated. He wouldn't be switching on those devices at home anymore, if that was the case. "Well, uh, thanks for this." He indicated the phone in his hand.

"Any time," Bucky told him. "Now, do you wanna use Maps to get us to the park?"

Steve exhaled on a laugh. "I don't need a map for that, Central Park is only a few blocks that way."

They headed to Central, entering on the lower west side. To Steve's surprise, Bucky didn't suggest they take a run or start training. Instead, they walked through the park in a leisurely stroll, like any other couple out in the mid morning sunshine. Steve was able to appreciate the peacefulness of the park, and look around at all the people.

On an open patch of grass he spotted a group of people doing slow, practiced movements, like a class or unit in training. He paused to watch, and Bucky watched with him.

"It's Tai Chi," she said, as Steve watched in fascination. "Very good for your core. There's plenty of classes held here in the park most days, or you can visit a gym too."

Steve nodded. He might look into that, it seemed... peaceful.

They kept walking, and Bucky stopped to buy them some coffee from a refreshment stand. She handed Steve a cup, and when he sipped it he tasted sweet warm coffee: the caramel latte.

"Aren't we doing some training today?" he asked, as they strolled along.

"Let me digest that sandwich first," Bucky laughed easily. "You know, we're not far from the museum of natural history. You wanna take a look?"

Steve smiled wryly. "I should be in there, right? An old fossil."

Bucky laughed like she actually found his joke funny. "I think the bones in there got you beat by a few million years, Steve."

Steve shrugged. "Sure, let's go in. I never got to look inside."

"Oh, then we really should," Bucky said decidedly. "I loved going in there as a kid."

Steve smiled wistfully. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Do you... um, do you like science fiction?" Steve asked, because he had to know. Bucky, the Bucky he'd known, had absolutely loved it. Always reading any pulp novel he could get his hands on.

"Yeah, sure," Bucky replied. "I mean, I was a hacker and a nerd. Think the rules are you gotta enjoy Sci-Fi or your nerd card gets revoked."

"Right," Steve said, still unsure what _hacker_ meant, though he was starting to get a picture in his head that Bucky was good with tech.

"Hey, if you want," Bucky said, "we can head over to Queens later and check out the science museum. It's pretty fun in there."

"I thought you had a schedule?" Steve teased, as Bucky laughed again.

"My schedule is doing stuff with you and not being interrupted by nosy friends," Bucky said firmly.

Steve had to smile at that. "SHIELD won't think you're slacking off? Aren't you supposed to be training me?"

"Steve, if you want me to kick your ass in the park later, I'm more than happy to do so," Bucky quipped. "Believe it or not, I do have a training schedule for you. But there's no rush, okay? We spent all of yesterday in the gym beating each other up, so we can spend today having a look around."

"Okay." Steve chuckled. "Seems fair."

"Thank God," Bucky laughed. "Now, let's go look at some enormous bones and see who can make the best worst puns."


	5. Wise men say, only fools rush in

Steve's first week with Bucky was a mix of training in the gym, the park, and strolling around the city or going to things he'd never got much chance to do before.

She took him to art museums, science museums, craft beer bars, burger bars, clothing stores. She took him to the Under Armour brand store when Steve mentioned he liked her compressionwear.

She'd smiled at that remark and raised her eyebrow at him. Steve hadn't meant it to come out like he was sweet on her or anything (though he kind of was) but he really did like the compressionwear.

Bucky seemed thrilled to go shopping anyway, and once they were in the store they spent a couple hours there figuring out what clothes Steve could get. He was spending the majority of his time training anyway, so he needed a lot of clothes for working out in, or to wear under clothes.

Bucky offered her opinions on styles and comfort, and together they selected a pile of clothes for Steve to try on, get some idea for sizing. He diligently went into the changing room while Bucky stayed outside with the store clerk, occasionally passing him items through the curtain if something didn't fit or she'd found something else he might like.

Steve came out of the changing room a couple times to get Bucky's approval, noting the way her eyes raked slowly down his body. Steve liked her checking him out, so he made sure to try on tighter clothes and show her those too.

Even the clerk was checking him out but Steve didn't mind, he was more interested in Bucky's reaction and the way her eyes widened slightly at the latest ensemble.

Steve grinned to himself as he stood there and put his hands on his hips. "Good?" he asked, doing a subtle flex.

"Um, yeah," Bucky managed, sounding a little choked up. "That's, that's good. Yep."

Steve grinned. And he did like the clothes: they were soft and comfortable, supportive. They accentuated his muscles too, Steve had seen himself in the mirror, but it was still a huge boost to his ego to see Bucky's reaction to him wearing them.

"Great," he said cheerfully, and strode back into the changing room.

His enhanced hearing picked up the clerk's low words to Bucky as she said, "Your boyfriend is _stacked_."

"Oh, no, no, we aren't..." Bucky murmured, and trailed off. She cleared her throat.

Steve listened, but couldn't hear anything more. He silently got undressed, wondering if there was any chance that he and Bucky...

But maybe she was already seeing someone?

Steve hadn't thought to ask her. His heart sank at the thought, and he realised just how much he'd come to rely on Bucky being _his_ , when he didn't know much about her.

He must've seemed a bit quiet as they paid for the clothing and left the store, as Bucky asked him if he was okay.

Steve made sure to give her a polite smile as he nodded. "Sure."

"Time for food?" she suggested. "There's a great pizza place around here..."

Steve smiled wider. Bucky loved eating almost as much as him. "I could eat," he said.

"Steve, whenever you say that," Bucky replied, "I know you're hungry. C'mon."

She took him to another little Italian place.

Bucky seemed to favor Italian, Steve noticed, mostly for the pizza and mozzarella sticks. Steve was content, he needed the carbs.

He had a pizza and a roast chicken salad to start, Bucky had her own pizza and a side of garlic pizza bread.

"Good thing I'm not kissing anyone today," she remarked, before biting into the cheesy garlic bread.

Steve almost dropped his forkful of chicken, but managed to recover. This was his chance, he realised. Now all he had to do was be smooth and not muck this up.

"Do you, um, do that?" Steve blurted.

Bucky looked up at him as she chewed her mouthful. "Hmf?" she replied. "Do what? The garlic bread?"

Steve smiled. "I meant, um, are you seeing anyone? For kissing? And, um..." His cheeks flared hot. "Stuff."

Great job, Steve.

Bucky arched her eyebrow at him as she swallowed her food. "And stuff, huh," she drawled, picking up her glass of water to take a slow drink.

Steve didn't usually sweat anymore, but he could've sworn he felt a drop of sweat form at his temple now.

Bucky casually set down her glass, not looking at him. "No, I'm not seeing anyone." She grabbed up another garlic pizza slice, holding it up as she looked at him. "Are _you_ seeing anyone?"

Steve shook his head. "I wouldn't even know where to start," he said honestly.

This earned him a little snort from Bucky, like she was amused. "Yeah, sure."

"What?" Steve asked.

"Don't play coy," Bucky said, biting into her pizza bread and talking with her mouth full, "you were strutting around that changing room in skintight Under Armor. I thought that poor assistant was gonna self combust."

Steve chuckled. "Yeah, but I wasn't doing it for her."

Bucky paused mid chew, eyes darting up at Steve before she seemed to regain her composure and carry on eating.

Steve waited, thought she might reply but when she didn't he felt like he'd mis-stepped. "Sorry," he said with a self deprecating smile. "Am I being inappropriate?"

Bucky shook her head but she still wouldn't meet his eyes. She jammed another slice of pizza into her mouth, so Steve took the hint and got back to eating his own food.

The rest of the meal passed in quiet and somewhat stilted chat.

Steve figured the new awkwardness was down to him, and he was mad at himself for ruining what he had with Bucky. Clearly, she wasn't interested in him that way, and he'd gone and mucked up the only friendship he had now.

Way to go, Steve.

He was all set to apologise to her again once their plates were cleared and the bill came, when they both reached for the check at the same time.

Their fingers touched, and it was Bucky's metal hand, smooth and surprisingly warm to the touch. She pulled back first, Steve a moment later as they both apologised and tried speaking over each other.

"I got it," Steve tried, as Bucky said, "No, it's fine, I got it."

"But you've been paying for everything," Steve pointed out.

"SHIELD is, not me," Bucky corrected. "Let me get the bill, Steve." She reached for the check again, and Steve backed off.

"Alright," he agreed. "But will you please let me get the next one? No SHIELD involved?"

"Okay, sure," she said, taking a card from her pocket and setting it onto the dish with the check. She raised her arm and indicated to their waiter, like she was in a hurry to get out of there.

Steve thought that once they were outside she'd probably want to get away from him fast, but he was surprised again when Bucky turned to him out on the street and said, "You wanna go see Tony?"

"Uh, sure?" Steve replied.

Bucky nodded and stepped out to hail a cab. "Taxi!" she yelled, as a car screeched to a halt.

Maybe she didn't want to be alone with him, Steve wondered, as they both sat in the backseat of a yellow cab and it drove them uptown.

The traffic was heavy so the drive was slow. Bucky didn't talk, had started playing with her phone. Steve didn't talk either, and he wondered if he should play with his phone too.

He busied himself looking out the window instead, watching the people, the buildings, and the cars roll by. Everything still was so different to Steve, so even just looking at it felt exhausting to him after a few minutes. Like a culture shock of being in another country and missing home, except this was his home.

He looked away from the window, glancing at Bucky next to him. She was still tapping away on her phone. Steve fidgeted, started jiggling his knee from nervous energy. He would've preferred to walk or run, not sit in a car.

Bucky must've noticed, as she looked up from her phone. "You okay?" she asked quietly.

"Sure," Steve replied, knee bouncing faster.

"Tony's nice," Bucky told him. "Well, he's a bit of an asshat, but underneath all that, he's nice."

Steve smiled, remembering Howard and his quick wit, his easy charm. "Great," he said.

They passed Grand Central station and the car dropped them off on Park Avenue in front of a tall and imposing building.

Bucky paid the driver and they got out, Steve looking up at the building. "Is he expecting us?" he asked, as Bucky gave him an amused look.

"I said we'd drop in later in the week," she explained. "Tony doesn't really keep to appointments anyway, so the best thing to do is just show up and hope he's nosy enough to come see you."

Steve wasn't sure what to make of that, but whatever Bucky wanted to do was fine with him.

He felt a little nervous though.

They entered via the main reception and went through a security check similar to the one at SHIELD. Bucky seemed to know some of the staff and said hello politely, but they didn't stop to chat.

She led him across the lobby, past the main elevators and over to what seemed like a discreet and private elevator. She pressed her hand on a panel on the wall until it flashed blue and beeped, then she positioned her face at the wall. Steve watched with interest as a blue light scanned her eyes.

"Welcome, Agent Barnes," a voice said. Steve looked around for an intercom or something, but he couldn't see where the voice was coming from.

"That's Jarvis." Bucky smiled sidelong at him as the elevator doors swished open. "I have one guest, Jarvis. Captain Rogers."

"Welcome, Captain," the voice greeted as they stepped inside the elevator. "I have informed Mister Stark of your arrival."

"Thanks, pal," Bucky replied, looking at ease as the elevator took them up.

"Head of security?" Steve guessed, glancing around the elevator's sleek reflective panels. He caught Bucky's eye in the reflection before they both quickly looked away.

"Yeah, kind of," Bucky said. "Jarvis is an A.I., he's integrated into the building but the public don't interact with him."

"Didn't Stark... I mean, didn't Howard have a man called Jarvis?" Steve asked. "Same British accent."

"That is correct, sir," the voice of Jarvis replied. "I was named after Mister Edwin Jarvis, Howard Stark's butler."

Steve nodded. So, like father like son with the whole butler thing. "Well, it's good to meet you, Jarvis," Steve told him. "I only met the other Jarvis once, when we were stationed in England."

"Yes, I have it in my records, Captain," Jarvis said. "And thank you." The elevator doors swished open. "Mister Stark is presently out, but he informs me he will return and wishes you to make yourselves comfortable."

"Thanks, Jarvis," Bucky said, stepping out onto the floor.

Steve followed, looking around at the expensive penthouse style suite. Incredible view of the city. Steve hadn't been up this high without being in a plane.

"Neat view," he commented, gazing at the floor to ceiling windows. There seemed to be access to the outside platform of the building out here too.

Bucky saw him looking and gave him a mischievous smile. "How are you with heights?"

Steve shrugged. "Fine?"

"Hey, Jarvis," Bucky said, "can we get outside and check out the view?"

"Certainly, Agent Barnes," Jarvis replied, as a huge panel of window slid open. "Mister Stark should be with you in six minutes."

"Excellent." Bucky chuckled lowly. "C'mon, Steve," she said, walking to the window. "He loves having an audience when he flies in."

"I bet," Steve murmured, following her outside.

The wind was choppy but the view of the city and the whole island more than made up for it. Steve smiled, inspired by the sight all around him. For the first time in a long while, he wanted to pick up a pencil and draw.

Bucky led him out along a walkway that led out to a circular platform, and the more Steve looked at it the more he figured that the circle was a landing pad. The walkway had clear barriers either side of it, no handrail. Steve looked over the edge at the city street far below, the wind rushing about him. He wasn't scared of heights, but that sure was some drop.

Steve looked over at Bucky, who seemed comfortable up here. "You been up here before?" he asked, feeling a little niggle of jealousy at the thought of her spending time with Stark.

Howard Stark had been such a womanizer in his time, and Steve had read up on Tony Stark. Looked like the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree.

"Mm-hm." She nodded, then held up her metal hand. "Who do you think worked on this for me?"

"Oh," Steve said, because that threw a different light onto the situation.

Or did it? Stark was single, wasn't he? What if Bucky liked him?

"So you're close?" Steve blurted, which had Bucky smiling wryly.

"Well," she said, looking up at the sky, "let's see."

Steve's enhanced hearing picked up a sound like an incoming projectile, and he saw a spot on the horizon. "Is that...?"

"Yeah, that's Tony," Bucky said.

"Hm," Steve replied, as they watched the dot get closer and and closer.

Bucky side eyed him. "You... don't seem that surprised?"

"I Googled him," Steve said and gave her a brief smile. "That's how you say it, right? Googled? Also I watched some YouTube videos of the Iron Man suit."

"Oh," Bucky said, raising her eyebrows. "Well, there goes my big surprise."

"Sorry. I'll pretend to be impressed," he joked, making Bucky grin.

The Iron Man flew to the platform and they watched him land with a clunk. The suit was pretty impressive, Steve had to admit. Especially up close.

Stark walked along the platform toward them even as the platform itself whirred to life, panels sliding open and moving around him like an electronic puzzle.

"Oh, hi," Stark's amplified voice greeted. "Jarvis told me you came by."

"Hey, Tony," Bucky called.

Steve watched as panels of the building opened and mechanical arms came out, removing plates of armor from Stark as he walked off the platform and onto the walkway. His helmet was removed too, revealing his face. He was strikingly similar to Howard Stark, even down to the facial hair.

Stark kept on walking, leaving armored boots in place as the building whisked them away into hidden compartments, out of sight. Under his suit Stark appeared to be wearing some sort of compressionwear outfit too, with a glowing disc set in his chest.

Steve had read about that, the arc reactor, and about Stark's ordeal overseas and his daring escape.

As Stark approached them, all armor now gone like it'd never been there, he looked between the two of them with a smirk.

"Well, well," he said, "so this is the new dynamic duo, huh? Cap and his sidekick back together again. That's pretty good timing you had there." He directed a look to Bucky. "Being here the exact time Cap gets pulled out of the ice."

"Yes, good timing," Bucky said, her voice neutral.

Steve looked between her and Tony, who seemed to be having a whole other conversation with their eyes.

Oh, great, Steve thought.

So he wasn't left out of the conversation again, he extended his hand. "Steve Rogers," he said. "How do you do."

Stark looked down at his hand then into Steve's face. He burst out in an amused titter, and it wasn't at all what Steve expected. Then Stark reached out and slapped a hand onto his shoulder, encouraging him to turn around.

"Let's get a drink, hm?" Stark said, leading Steve back inside. "I'm parched."

"I'm afraid I can't get drunk," Steve informed him.

"That's right, super serum." Stark patted his shoulder consolingly. "Bit of a monkey's paw situation, hm?" He looked back at Bucky, following behind them. "You know I'm still working on a formula that'll get you drunk, right? I haven't forgotten."

Steve's eyebrows shot up of their own accord, and he tried to look at Bucky behind them.

She gave him a brief look in reply, as if to say don't listen to him, he's kidding.

Or so Steve interpreted.

Stark led them over to a bar built of marble, and with a final pat on Steve's shoulder he peeled off and began pouring out glasses of expensive looking scotch.

"Whiskey man?" he asked, offering a glass out to Steve.

Steve figured, why not. He didn't mind the taste after all. "Sure," he said, taking the glass.

Stark handed one to Bucky too, then raised his own. "A toast," he proclaimed jovially, "to avoiding Fury's super secret boy band."

Bucky sighed audibly, which seemed to amuse Stark as he sipped at his drink, looking at the two of them over the rim of his glass.

Steve smiled, feeling more at ease. He lifted his glass at Stark in toast then took a drink.

Stark smiled like he was pleased, then focused in on Bucky. "So, Agent Barnes. Tell me. Are you bosom buddies with Agent Romanov?"

Steve blinked in surprise, and looked at Bucky to see her reaction. He wasn't sure what to expect, if this was the usual banter she had with Stark, but Bucky's face seemed carefully neutral right now.

"I know her," Bucky told him calmly. "Tony, are you still sulking about Fury checking in on you? He was just worried because you were sick."

"Coulson said he'd _taze me_ ," Stark replied, sounding put out about it.

Bucky shrugged. "Coulson is a good guy. If he told you that then you probably provoked him."

Stark snorted lightly and turned back to Steve, giving him an assessing look. "So, Cap. Did they give you the spiel yet about my dad and Carter founding SHIELD? Or are they saving that for a special occasion?"

"What?" Steve frowned, and looked to Bucky, who nodded at him.

"That's true," she said. "Along with Colonel Philips, they founded SHIELD."

Steve hadn't known that. Fury had told him that SHIELD was the new version of the SSR who Peggy, the Howling Commandos and Steve had worked under during the war.

But Peggy being a founding member of SHIELD? Steve hadn't known.

"Hm, yeah, Fury just dropped this on me too," Stark went on. "Though I'm still not entirely sure what dad's involvement was in SHIELD before he died. I mean, if you buy that car accident crap, which I don't."

"I'm sorry to hear about Howard," Steve said, meaning it. "We didn't always see eye to eye, but he was a good man."

"Really?" Stark scoffed, knocking back the rest of his scotch. "He loved you, by all accounts. Never stopped talking about you."

Steve was surprised to hear that. "News to me," he said.

"Tony," Bucky said, a note of warning in her voice. "Steve's been here less than a month. Think about that."

"Oh, I am," Stark replied, opening a compartment on the bar. "I've been thinking a lot, actually." He produced two small electronic devices, one looked like a watch, and the other a remote key fob. "Here, Cap." He walked over, put them in Steve's hand. "This watch has access to Jarvis. If you ever need him, or me, just say. And this," he held up the remote, "will let you sweep for bugs, because I'm sure wherever SHIELD put you up has more bugs than an open sewer."

Steve frowned, and looked over to Bucky for confirmation. She had her hands on her hips and a weary look on her face now.

So Stark wasn't lying, then.

"Thank you," Steve told him, accepting the devices. "No doubt they'll be useful."

"Great!" Stark smiled, then gestured to the suite. "Wanna come meet the bots? I'll give you a tour."

When Steve and Bucky left Stark Tower a couple hours later, they exited onto the street in a tense sort of quiet.

Steve had a lot of burning questions, and he was itching to go for a run and get rid of some nervous energy.

"Has SHIELD really bugged my apartment?" he asked, turning on Bucky.

She looked up at him with a mild shrug. "Look at it from Fury's perspective, Steve," she said calmly. "You're a super soldier that he doesn't know. No one knows you. You arrive here, and he didn't know what state you'd be in. He keeps tabs on people, it's what he does. That's why he's the director of SHIELD."

"No one knows me," Steve repeated, feeling like he'd been gut punched.

"Well, not... I mean," Bucky sighed, "not officially, no. We don't have any living accounts of you."

"I thought Peggy was still alive?" Steve said, his eyes stinging suddenly.

"She is," Bucky said gently. "She doesn't remember much, Steve. It's not an account that would satisfy the SHIELD security council, let's put it that way. Any account would have to be from active duty agents."

"I see," Steve said, willing himself not to cry. Cars honked on the street all around them, and he thought his head may start spinning again. "And that's it? I'm treated like a criminal until proven otherwise?"

"That's not it at all," Bucky replied. "Why do you think Fury set me up with you? He wanted you to have a friend, someone on your side."

"Are you?" Steve looked at her, trying to read her expression. "Are you on my side?"

"Of course I am," she said, eyes open and vulnerable. "I'm not trying to influence your decision on working for SHIELD, Steve, or anything else for that matter. I'm just trying to be your friend."

She seemed sincere, and Steve hoped his gut was right because he wanted to believe her, he really did.

He nodded, still feeling choked up. "Okay," he said. "Look, I'm gonna go for a run. I need to move."

"That's fine," she said, placating. "Are you coming in tomorrow? Or I can meet you somewhere else? We can––"

"I'll let you know," Steve cut in, giving her a small wave to be polite.

Then he turned and ran, dodging pedestrians as he jogged away before breaking into a run.


	6. But I can't help falling in love with you

Bucky could've kicked herself.

Perhaps visiting Tony today hadn't been such a great idea after all. It was just... Well, she'd been so nervous back in the restaurant when Steve had basically told her he was _flirting_ with her.

With _her_. Like, for real.

What was she supposed to do with that? She was a SHIELD agent, she was supposed to be there to give Steve support, perhaps even recruiting Captain America to join SHIELD, not batting her eyelashes at him.

Bucky had meant what she'd said too, she wasn't trying to push anything on Steve. His wellbeing was her only priority. She wanted him to make his own informed decisions, whatever they may be.

And if Steve didn't want to join SHIELD, then Bucky would follow him where he went and make sure he was okay.

Because if she was being honest with herself, she _was_ drawn to Steve. It felt right being with him, it made her feel happy and calm at the same time, like it was the most natural thing in the world even though when he smiled at her and looked in her eyes her heart skipped a beat.

She'd been trying to tamp down her feelings for Steve all week and focus on training only, but the only thing Bucky was fighting was a losing battle.

Admit it, she told herself as she walked along the city streets alone, you like him.

She liked Steve.

There it was. And just like that, Bucky felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. _She liked Steve._ There was no denying it anymore. And, unless she was reading too much into it, Steve seemed to like her too.

Maybe... maybe they could talk about it. If Steve was willing to talk to her.

One thing was for sure, Bucky thought, she was in big trouble.

Sleep wasn't easy, but Bucky had to be up bright and early so she stayed in bed even though she was restless.

She showered and changed, doing her hair up in a top knot. Still no message from Steve, but it was early yet and he hadn't cancelled.

Bucky had hope. She had a gut feeling that Steve was the kind of guy who'd let her know if he wasn't turning up, so she took the no news as good news.

She walked to the nearest Starbucks, gym bag over her shoulder, and ordered a large caramel latte for Steve, and an iced latte for her.

When her order was up, she stopped to snap a quick photo of the cups, sending it to Steve in a text: _See you in the gym_

She put her phone away and carried the coffee down to the SHIELD office. With any luck, Steve would show up as normal and they could get back to their routine.

Or, a new routine. Or, something. Bucky didn't know what, she only knew she wanted Steve to show up. Everything else would work itself out.

Bucky sipped her coffee as she got through security and up to the gym floor. At least none of her pals seemed to be around today, so nobody to nose in her business.

She knew Fury was on a detail with Hill, so that kept him out of her hair for a bit longer too. Something about a big blond guy with a magic hammer, if Barton's text was anything to be believed.

Bucky had her own big blond guy to deal with.

She let herself into the gym and had the doors secured, unless Steve was the one entering. She set the coffees onto a table along with her bag, and went to go warm up.

An hour passed, and Bucky was starting to get concerned about Steve.

Still no reply to her message, and she occupied herself with a punch bag to take out her frustrations. She was in a kickboxing mood today, and the more Steve kept her waiting the more she felt like kicking him too.

She kicked and punched the bag.

Had she pushed him too hard? She couldn't help but wonder. Maybe she wasn't the right person to be looking after his wellbeing after all.

If only he'd agree to speak to a therapist, that could help. Bucky could only do so much: she was a field agent not a therapist.

She jabbed at the punch bag with her fists a couple times, then kicked it hard. She was working up a slight sweat, probably more from nerves than physical exertion.

The gym doors opened and Bucky whirled around, a relieved smile already on her face.

But it wasn't Steve, it was Agent Coulson.

What the hell, Bucky thought, as Coulson walked across the gym to her. He was carrying a small black folder.

"Coulson," she said as he approached. "What is it?"

"Good morning, Barnes," Coulson replied, polite as ever. "Is Captain Rogers not with you?"

Bucky made a point of glancing up at the clock on the wall. Nearly nine AM. "Not yet. Why?"

"Oh," Coulson said, looking down at the folder in his hands. "Well, it was just... you know, don't worry about it." He smiled pleasantly at her. "I can ask him when I see him."

"What's it about?" Bucky asked, feeling defensive. "I told Fury not to bug him yet about SHIELD stuff."

"No, it's not that, it's..." Coulson trailed off as the gym doors opened again, looking behind him. Bucky looked too, relieved to see Steve walk through the doors.

At last, she thought.

"Well, there he is," she told Coulson, as Steve approached them. He had on his new Under Armor clothes too, and he looked good enough to eat. Bucky had to swallow, her throat a bit dry. "You, um, you can ask him now," she croaked out, and had to clear her throat.

"Ask me what?" Steve asked, looking between the two of them.

"Steve, this is Agent Coulson," Bucky said.

"Yeah, we met," Steve said, nodding politely. "Hi, again."

"Good morning, Captain Rogers," Coulson beamed at him. "I hope you're settling in here at SHIELD?"

"Well..." Steve's eyes flicked over to Bucky briefly, before looking back to Coulson. Steve plastered on a neutral smile. "Everyone's being very helpful."

"I'm so glad to hear that," Coulson said.

"Alright, well," Bucky said, looking at Coulson, "we got a lot of training to do, so..."

"Right," Coulson said, and opened up his black folder. "This won't take long. Captain Rogers, would you be so kind as to sign my Captain America trading cards?"

"Trading cards?" Steve questioned, looking at the folder.

Bucky wanted to groan. Really, Coulson? She couldn't believe he was fanning Steve on company time.

Inside the folder were sheets of plastic pockets containing little trading cards with various pictures of Captain America and the Howling Commandos on.

"I have one of two vintage sets," Coulson explained. "This is the unboxed one."

Bucky could barely restrain herself from rolling her eyes, but Steve seemed cool with it.

"Sure," he said. "Have you got a pen?"

Coulson had a marker, and handed it over.

"Which one am I signing?" Steve asked.

"Not all of them, I hope," Bucky murmured, probably quiet enough that Coulson didn't hear but she figured Steve did, as the corner of his mouth ticked up in a smile.

Coulson chose a card for Steve to sign, which he did with a flourish. Coulson was thrilled, thanking Steve profusely. Bucky cleared her throat again to get things moving. "We'll catch up with you later, Coulson," she said.

"Thanks again," Coulson said, before leaving. "Have a good day."

"See you round." Steve waved him off, and he looked at Bucky with a wry smile.

"Sorry," Bucky mouthed, as Coulson exited the gym. "He's a good guy. You know he cornered me too when I first joined SHIELD, going on and on about the Howling Commandos and my family connection."

"He make you sign a card?" Steve asked.

Bucky shook her head and chuckled. "There's no card for me. I'm no one special, just a descendant."

"Well, that's not true, Bucky, and they should make a card of you," Steve told her earnestly.

This guy, Bucky thought, as her heart swelled.

"I, uh, don't think spies are allowed publicity like that," she said, feeling her cheeks burn.

"Maybe SHIELD should reconsider their public image," Steve countered, stepping up to the punching bag. "I, um, found a few bugs in my apartment last night. I've moved elsewhere for now."

Bucky sighed, feeling bad all over again. "Steve, I'm sorry. It wasn't my call."

"I know," he said, seeming sad. "I just... it feels like I'm being treated like a threat."

"You do remember you're a super soldier, right?" Bucky set her hands on her hips as she toed the soft floor mat with her bare foot. "They won't ever treat you like a civilian."

Steve nodded at that, and he gave her a small smile. "You must think I'm very naïve."

"Not at all," Bucky told him, and she meant it. "I've no idea how I'd fare if I woke up seventy years into the future and everything was different. All I want to do is make sure you got someone in your corner, so that's why I'm here."

"You don't trust SHIELD?" Steve looked at her, and he had his poker face back on.

Bucky shrugged. "I trust _people_ , individuals. And my gut. I watch my back, and it's worked out reasonably well so far."

Steve nodded. "I understand."

"I hope that you'll trust me," she added. "If not now, then in time."

"I trust you," Steve told her, looking her in the eye. "I'm sorry for being cagey, but it's just a lot to take in all at once."

Bucky understood that. She felt a little choked up, and had to swallow past a lump in her throat. "I get it, I do. And as far as I'm concerned, you take all the time you need before making any big decisions."

"And in the meantime?" Steve asked.

"Meantime..." She gestured to the punching bag. "Work out? Unless you have another suggestion?"

"Fine with me," Steve said. "What are we doing today?"

"Some kickboxing," Bucky said, buoyed at the prospect of spending time with Steve. "I think you'd be good at it."

Steve was _excellent_ at kickboxing which, like, of course he was. His legs were like a gazelle's, for a start, so his reach was amazing.

Bucky taught him some basics and he seemed to pick it up quickly. She quipped that he'd probably found his calling with kickboxing, and soon after that realised she needed to keep her guard up when his foot actually grazed her face.

"Oh, it's on," she said, feinting left then giving him a solid kick. "What's your gut telling you now?" she teased, standing over him as he clutched his stomach.

Steve was a good sport, and only smiled as he stood up and raised his fists again. "I can do this all day."

Oh, Bucky thought, as that wobbly deja vu feeling came back and hit her with full force.

It must've been enough for Steve to notice, as he dropped his fists and looked at her with concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Bucky shook her head. "Uh, yeah. It's nothing." She adjusted her stance. "Let's go over that move again."

They fought, and Steve wasn't holding back. He was a quick learner, and Bucky actually found herself on the defensive this time with Steve driving her back across the mat.

Bucky grit her teeth and pushed back, delivering two fast kicks aimed at Steve's head. He dodged them, caught her foot and toppled her down. Bucky's back hit the mat as she grunted in surprise, staring up at Steve as he kept a hold of her ankle.

"Ready to say uncle?" he taunted, a smile on his face.

Bucky smiled back, and decided to play dirty. She took a deep breath, expanding her chest and pushing her boobs out. As expected, Steve's eyes focused on her chest and while he was momentarily distracted Bucky swivelled her other leg around to snatch behind Steve's knee and knock him off balance.

Steve tumbled to the mat and Bucky rolled after him, intending to tackle him down.

But he surprised her yet again, blocking Bucky with his feet and pushing up to throw her off. Bucky barely managed to tuck herself into a forward roll as she came down on the mat. She landed roughly and caught her right elbow, grazing it.

Sitting on the mat, breath coming in a little ragged, Bucky inspected her elbow. Yep, a small graze. She glanced around at Steve who had rushed over to her.

"Are you hurt?" he asked, his face a picture of worry.

Bucky smirked up at him. "I'll live," she said flatly, not amused at being beaten. "Well, Steve, congratulations. It only took you a week to knock me down."

"I'm sorry," Steve said, offering his hand out. Bucky took it and he pulled her up with care. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I don't think I'll need EMT's," Bucky quipped. "A band-aid should do."

"Want me to put it on for you?" Steve asked, looking at her intensely. They were still clasping hands, and the moment felt charged.

Bucky looked away, shy suddenly, and withdrew her hand. She made herself smile, to lighten the mood. "I'm fine. Shall we break for a late lunch? I'm starved."

"Sure," Steve agreed, trailing along behind her.

Training was over for the day, Bucky had decided.

She took down her hair and patched up her slightly grazed elbow. After getting changed she met Steve outside and Bucky took them back to her favorite place: the first restaurant she'd taken Steve earlier in the week.

It was cosy, and quiet, just what they needed right now. They ordered their food, made small talk, avoided looking each other in the eye for some time.

Bucky wasn't sure if it was just her, or if there was tension in the air.

Shame alcohol didn't work, she thought, because she could've used a drink.

At least once their food came they had something to do, so they ate in quiet. Bucky happened to glance over at another table as she was finishing up her first pizza, and saw a couple who were clearly very into each other. It was two men, and when Bucky looked at Steve she saw that he'd noticed them too.

Steve didn't stare, or at least he tried not to. Bucky could tell he was curious though.

She cleared her throat delicately. "So, um... did you Google about civil partnerships at all?" she ventured.

Steve looked at her curiously. "Civil what?"

"Gay marriage," she said. "It's legal now. Quite recently, actually."

"Oh," Steve said softly, glancing again to the table.

His interest made Bucky wonder, and she'd wanted to ask anyway... "Steve," she started, as he looked back to her, "I wanted to ask you something, but... I don't know, I didn't want to pry or anything."

"You can ask," Steve replied, sounding calm.

"You don't have to answer," Bucky babbled, nerves getting the better of her, "I just..." She sighed. "Okay, so... were you seeing anyone? Back then?"

"Well..." Steve shifted in his seat, and gave a half smile. "I did spend quite a bit of time on the road with a touring company of mostly single women, and a lot of eager fans."

Bucky's eyebrows hiked up. "Oh, really?"

Steve smiled bashfully. "It was right after I got the serum, actually. I had... I guess you could say I had a lot of energy, suddenly."

"Oh, my God," Bucky murmured, covering her mouth as she began to laugh. "Are you saying you felt _horny?_ Because I totally get that, I felt the same way after I got the serum."

"Really?" Steve leaned in, interested. "I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, and I couldn't ask Erskine, he was gone. I just..." Steve shrugged, exhaled. "I just figured, maybe this is what other people felt like all the time?"

"Horny?" Bucky said, barely keeping a straight face.

"Yeah." Steve grinned. "I guess. So, you felt it too?"

"Probably not as much as you did," she admitted. "Your metabolism should be a lot faster than mine, so it makes sense your body went through an adjustment period. Like a second puberty, you could say."

"Hm." Steve frowned then smiled. "I never thought of it like that before. I mean, no one asked me and we just... fooled around. Nothing serious."

"You weren't seeing anyone?" Bucky pressed. "What about Agent Carter?"

Steve smiled again, sadly this time. "Well, after I became this..." He gestured at himself. "She did seem interested, and we flirted a bit but we hardly saw each other. I'd just got Bucky back and we... we went back out there to stop Hydra."

He looked sad, and Bucky hated making him look that way. But she had to know. "And... what about you and Barnes?"

Steve looked up at her, poker face back on.

Oh, she thought. There was her answer. Whatever had happened, Steve had clearly had feelings for Barnes.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked.

Bucky sighed. "Look, Steve, I'd never judge you, it's not like that. I'm actually bisexual myself, I've dated men and women before. It's just... you know, you're _you_ , and I'm... _me_ , like... I'm related to him, is what I mean. I just wanted to know if you and he were... involved?"

"Oh," Steve said softly, looking down at the table. "Um, no, we didn't... I mean, we were close. He was all I had, and sometimes... I don't know, sometimes I did think we would but... maybe in another life, without a war."

Bucky felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. "Yeah," she said softly, as that deja vu feeling engulfed her again.

Steve smiled, like he was remembering something, his eyes crinkling up. "You know, he said a couple times, if one of us was a dame, Steve, we'd be married."

"Mm," Bucky managed, trying to blink away the dizziness she suddenly felt.

"Hey, are you okay?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, fine," she said.

"Is it your elbow?"

Bucky looked at him in confusion, and thankfully things became clear again. "My elbow? What?"

"You looked like you were in pain," Steve told her.

"Oh." Bucky shook her head, smiling at herself. "I, uh. It's nothing, really."

"Tell me?" Steve asked, and Bucky couldn't say no to that face.

She sighed. "Um, it's not painful, it's... I just get these moments sometimes where... um..." She couldn't describe it, and huffed in frustration. "You ever get deja vu?"

Steve shook his head slowly. "What's that?"

"A glitch in the matrix," Bucky quipped, then noticed Steve's blank expression. "Movie reference, sorry. It's, um, actually it's when you feel like you've experienced something before." She huffed lightly in disbelief. "How about that."

"Is that what you felt just now?" Steve asked.

"Um... yeah?" Bucky felt silly talking about this, had only ever mentioned it once to a therapist who hadn't been all that sympathetic, so Bucky had never brought it up again. "It just happens sometimes. It's no big deal."

"Well it looks like you're in pain," Steve told her, and shrugged. "Or trying to hold in a fart. I can't tell."

Bucky burst out laughing, caught by surprise. Steve smiled at her as she laughed, and thankfully the tension in the air was broken. Bucky felt better.

"Thanks, Steve," she said quietly.

"Any time," he replied, still smiling at her. "But I mean, if you really are going to fart, you should just let it out. Don't try holding it in because it's only gonna come out worse later."

Bucky laughed so hard that a few people on other tables looked over. She tried to get a hold of herself, wiping tears away. "You want desert?" she asked, and raised her hand for the waiter. "Let's get a desert. We deserve it."

~~

Bucky didn't want her time with Steve to end tonight, so if she walked a little slower than normal who could blame her.

Steve seemed content to stroll along and chat with her too, though their previous easy chat was now interspersed with some tense moments of silence, like they were both waiting for something to happen, or for one of them to make a move.

Or maybe that was just Bucky's wishful thinking, because did she ever wish Steve would make a move on her now. She glanced at him a few times when she thought he wasn't looking, then she noticed him doing the same to her.

This was silly, she scolded herself. If it were anyone else, Bucky would've been more direct, but this was _Steve_.

And it felt like there was already a lot of history between them, though it'd barely been a week. Bucky felt like she knew Steve better than she knew anyone else, though she had no explanation for that when they'd only just met.

As her building came into view Bucky felt frustrated. She wished they could walk the block again to have more time together.

They both fell quiet as they reached the door, and Steve stuffed his hands into his pockets as he gave her a shy smile.

"Well, uh, goodnight," he said, polite as always. He shifted from foot to foot like he might walk away any moment.

"Steve," Bucky said quickly, giving in to her impulse.

He looked at her hopefully, and Bucky searched his eyes as she asked, "Do you wanna come up?"

Steve nodded, so small she almost missed it, but he asked quietly, "Are you sure?"

Bucky smiled, part amused and part relieved. "Yeah. C'mon," she said, gesturing for him to follow. She stepped up to the door and punched in her code. Steve was at her side in an instant, holding the door open for her. Normally Bucky would've elbowed a man for trying to do that for her, but not to Steve: when Steve did it she just found it charming.

The building was quiet, and they rode up together in the elevator in a tense but exciting sort of silence.

When the doors pinged open and Bucky stepped out, she glanced behind her at Steve to check he was still on board with this. He gave her a little smile, almost bashful, making him seem young in that moment. Bucky smiled back, partly relieved, and she led the way to her apartment.

She unlocked the door and hit a few of the lights, gesturing Steve to come in. He walked inside, looking around curiously at the entryway.

"It's, uh, a bit Spartan," Bucky explained, as she shut the door behind him. "I don't stay here often."

Steve nodded like he understood, and offered her another smile.

Bucky avoided looking at him for a moment, so she removed her coat and hung it up. "Nightcap?" she asked, finally looking at Steve. He was evidently gazing down at her boobs. "My eyes are up here," she quipped, amused at how Steve quickly looked up with a mortified expression.

"Sorry," he murmured, his cheeks pinking.

Bucky smiled. "At least take off your jacket so I can stare at yours too."

Steve blinked, then a slow smile spread over his face. "Fair," he replied, shrugging off his jacket.

Bucky looked her fill of Steve's chest and arms in that tight shirt as he hung up his jacket then turned to face her. "Great, see," she said, her throat going a little dry. "Now we're even."

Steve was looking at her with a certain something in his eye, and Bucky wanted what that look was promising her. The moment felt charged, and Bucky felt a little reckless as she leaned in, intending to kiss Steve right there.

Steve met her halfway, arms circling her body and pulling her in for the kiss. Their lips met and it was the easiest and most amazing kiss Bucky had ever experienced.

Of course Steve was a good kisser, she thought, as she was kissed passionately and held tightly. Of course.

And clearly, neither of them had any intention of slowing down or stopping at a kiss. Bucky wanted to climb this man mountain, and she fully intended to do so. As they made out with open mouths and tongues, Bucky worked her hands between them and started undoing Steve's shirt buttons. Oh, how she wanted to finally get her hands on that glorious chest.

It seemed Steve had similar thoughts, as his hands began groping over Bucky's body, sliding under her top and squeezing her boobs.

Bucky made a noise of approval, then broke the kiss. "Wait, wait," she gasped, putting a few inches of space between them so she could grab the hem of her top and pull it over her head.

Steve caught on fast, and yanked his shirt open. Buttons popped and went flying, one pinging off Bucky's metal arm. She would've laughed, but she was too distracted seeing Steve's chest up close, and she reached out to touch him. He let her, watching her run her hands up his chest and around his pecs.

"I mean, wow," she muttered, engrossed in feeling his muscles. "You're so smooth?"

Steve chuckled at that, eyes crinkling up as he looked down at her. "I was never that hairy."

"That's how we know you're a natural blond," Bucky quipped, and reached out to hold Steve's shoulders as she hopped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He caught her under her ass, holding her steady like she knew he would. "Bedroom's that way," she added, sticking her thumb over her shoulder.

Steve grinned and carried her into the bedroom. Bucky reached out and hit the side light on the way in, and thanked God that she'd made her bed this morning.

Steve carried her to the bed and laid her down gently, leaning in over her. His eyes were fixed on her boobs again, and Bucky had to smile.

"So how do modern bras hold up to the ones you're used to?" she quipped, watching his face for a reaction.

"Huh?" he said, looking at her. "You mean..." His eyes darted down again, and he nodded like he was really thinking about it. "The shape is rounder. Less pointy."

"Remind me to introduce you to Madonna later," Bucky said, tugging Steve down so she could kiss him.

"Who?" Steve asked, kissing her lips.

"A singer," Bucky replied, cupping his face so she could guide him. "Pointy bras." She kissed him deep, and there was no more talking after that. They made out lazily on the bed, Steve on top of her with Bucky's legs wrapped around his slim waist.

When Steve began grinding against her, the fabric of their pants increasing the friction, Bucky moaned happily into the kiss. Steve was definitely hard, Bucky felt his hardness poking at her. There were definitely way too many clothes between them.

"Steve," Bucky gasped at him, "clothes."

"Mm," Steve replied, still kissing her.

Bucky broke the kiss and pushed on his shoulders, urging him lower. "Clothes," she reminded him, then gasped as Steve mouthed wetly down her neck and collarbone, onto the curve of her cleavage. Steve cupped one boob with his hand and kissed at the exposed skin.

Bucky hummed, arching her back so she could reach behind with her metal arm and pull the bra fastening. So long, bra, she thought, removing it so her boobs were free.

Steve resumed kissing Bucky's boobs, massaging one with his hand as he closed his mouth over the other boob and tongued at her nipple. Bucky let out a happy sigh, though what she really wanted was both of them naked and Steve inside her.

Thankfully Steve moved down lower, kissing his way down Bucky's stomach and she could've sang hallelujah when he finally began unbuttoning her pants.

While Bucky was horny as hell, she did appreciate how gentle Steve was, easing her pants off and leaving her panties in place. He worked the pants down her legs, not letting the skinny fit jeans get the better of him, and took off her boots and socks one by one before pulling the pants off her feet too.

Bucky leaned up on her elbows to watch, grinning in delight. "Good job, but you left something," she said, pushing her hips up.

"I'm just saving the best till last," he replied, toeing off his shoes before climbing back onto the bed.

He still had his pants on, and it was a turn on to be nearly naked while Steve was still partially dressed. Bucky laid back down as Steve bracketed her head with his hands and leaned in to kiss her. She kissed him back, lifting her leg to hook over his hip, urging him closer. They made out messily as Steve rocked his hips, grinding against her. It felt wonderful but also Bucky could only take so much.

"Steve," she said firmly, "you're killing me here."

He laughed at that, a bright chuckle. "Well, we don't want that," he drawled, sounding very Brooklyn. He kissed her lips briefly before getting up and moving lower down the bed. His fingers hooked around the material of Bucky's panties, and she squirmed in anticipation. _Finally_ , she thought, as she lifted her hips and Steve tugged the panties off.

Naked now, Bucky opened her legs as Steve settled between them and stroked his fingers over her folds. Her eyes fluttered closed and she sighed in pleasure.

"You're one to talk," Steve said, making Bucky open her eyes again, "you don't have any hair down here."

Bucky's brain wasn't quick on the uptake, but then she realised that the trend of being totally bare was likely new to Steve. "Oh," she said, and gasped as his fingers began rubbing her in earnest. "No one has pubic hair anymore," she gasped.

"Huh? Why?" Steve asked, his fingers working her over.

God, he certainly knew what he was doing. Bucky's fingers gripped the bedsheets as Steve played with her clit.

"Um, it's, an aesthetic," she murmured, pushing her hips into his touch.

"Oh, okay," Steve replied. "Is it a problem that I have hair?"

Bucky almost laughed. "No," she told him. "It's not a problem."

"Well, that's a relief," Steve muttered, and speared her with one finger. Bucky was so wet now that the slide was easy, and it wasn't enough to fill her up but she groaned for it. "Can I go down on you?" he asked.

"God, yes," Bucky groaned.

Steve slid off of the bed and grabbed Bucky by her ankles, pulling her to the edge of the bed. Bucky opened her legs eagerly as Steve fit his face in there, his arms wrapping around her thighs so she couldn't move away.

And then he went to town on her pussy, licking and sucking her in all the right ways until she was coming hard and fast, shaking against his tongue.

"Oh, God," she gasped, pussy clenching with her orgasm.

Steve stuck two fingers into her as he continued sucking on her clit. His fingers felt around then hit the right spot, rubbing her there until she was coming again, clenching around his fingers.

"Steve!" she cried out, all floaty with post orgasmic haze but needing more. "Steve, I need you in me."

He released her clit with a wet pop and wiped his mouth with his free hand. "Don't you want to come some more first?" he asked, fingers still probing inside her.

"Need you," Bucky whined. "Don't make me come down there."

Steve laughed, but he moved to do as she wanted, withdrawing his fingers carefully and standing up to take off his pants.

Bucky leaned up on her elbows to watch the striptease, though Steve did almost stumble removing one of his socks because he was too busy looking at her. Bucky pressed her lips together, her eyes drinking him in too. When he finally removed his pants and underwear, pushing them down his legs, Bucky's eyes went wide seeing the thick cock spring free.

"Holy shit," she murmured, as he stood there before her. "Talk about well hung."

Steve smiled at her, and seemed to hesitate. "Uh, you want me to wear a condom?"

Bucky was clearly feeling a little reckless tonight, as she shook her head no. "I'm clean," she told him, "and I'm on birth control. If you haven't slept with anyone since you woke up, I'd say we're good to go."

"Uh, no," Steve said shyly, "you'll be my first. This century, I mean."

"C'mere, then," she said, hitching her knees up. Steve moved in and with Bucky being right on the edge of the bed made for a great angle for Steve to simply sink his cock right into her. He was big, and Bucky gasped as she was penetrated. Steve leaned in over her, hooking his arms under her knees to push her legs up as he balanced on the bed and began thrusting in deep, smooth strokes. Bucky cried out, loving the feel of Steve inside her and holding her in place as he fucked into her.

His breaths came in hot and ragged near her ear, then he asked, "Okay?"

"Yes," Bucky choked out, and held onto his shoulder. "Harder, don't stop."

Steve fucked like a dream, making Bucky come again before he came himself. Then he kept on going because apparently the serum made him stay hard for longer.

They changed position with Bucky in the center of the bed and Steve fucking her missionary style. He said he enjoyed watching her boobs bounce, and actually Bucky had a pretty great view of Steve's pecs jiggling around too.

She came again because his dick just hit all the right places, and then she got to watch him come again, watch his face twist in pleasure.

She thought he'd at least need a breather after that but Steve kept right on going, grabbing Bucky's ankles and holding her legs up as he fucked her senseless.

Bucky wasn't even sure how many times she'd come when they eventually stopped. Steve had probably come five times at least, Bucky definitely double that. He collapsed next to her in bed and they lay there panting, Bucky staring up at her ceiling in quiet amazement.

"Is it... are you... I mean..." She couldn't even form a sentence.

"Am I what?" Steve asked, and he had the decency to sound a bit out of breath too.

Bucky huffed a laugh. "Is that the standard?" she managed to say. "Like, that many times every time?"

"No," Steve said easily. "I mean, I can stop at one."

"Oh, I see," Bucky chuckled. "Not that I'm complaining, by the way. I'm just curious."

"You turn me on," he said, looking over at her.

Bucky could barely move, her limbs Jell-O, but she managed to turn her head and smile at him. "Careful," she murmured. "If you start off at such a gold standard I'll expect it every time."

Steve laughed, happy and bright. "That shouldn't be a problem."

He was just too sweet for words, she thought.

"Wanna spoon?" she asked, and turned over on her side. Steve shuffled in close, pressing his body all along hers and his big arm wrapping around her waist. His hand cupped her boob, making her laugh.

"You're so beautiful," he said quietly, and kissed her shoulder blade. Her metal one.

Bucky's laughter died, and she didn't normally feel self conscious but sometimes... Sometimes it was hard not to.

But with Steve, she knew in her heart that he genuinely meant it. She wasn't sure how she knew, she just did.

Bucky placed her metal hand over his arm and leaned into his embrace. "So are you."

"But these win," Steve murmured, hand gently squeezing her breast for emphasis.

Bucky shook with silent laughter. "Dork," she muttered, before falling asleep.


	7. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?

Bucky didn't always have nightmares, but when she did they were really vivid.

She dreamed she was falling, and she hadn't had this dream in a while. She used to have it a lot when she was younger. Always falling, blinding whiteness everywhere and wind rushing around her like it was so real, and then she'd wake up.

This time the dream started with her reaching out, and the strangest thing of all was she saw Steve there, dressed as Captain America with his blond hair whipping about his face in the wind. _"Bucky!"_ he yelled, reaching for her.

Bucky's hand reached for him too, but then she fell.

She fell screaming for Steve.

Bucky woke up in a cold sweat, gripping onto the first thing she could touch. It was Steve.

"Hey, it's okay," he murmured softly. "It was a dream. You were dreaming."

Bucky's breathing was ragged, and it took her a moment to realise she was safe in her bed, Steve beside her.

"It was a dream, Buck," Steve said, wrapping his arms around her. He held her tight, and Bucky curled into the embrace.

She felt silly, being so shaken like this, but that dream had felt so real. When she'd stopped shaking and her breathing had returned to normal, Steve asked her, "You alright?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "Sorry."

"I was already awake," Steve replied, as his stomach grumbled. Bucky had to smile. "You started calling my name."

"I did?" Bucky felt embarrassed. "It... it's so weird, I saw you there. I don't normally see you... in the dream."

Steve pulled back to look at her, in the dim light of the room Bucky studied his face, full of concern. "What was the dream?"

"I'm falling," she choked out. "It's... windy, cold. I've had the dream for as long as I can remember."

Steve's eyebrows scrunched together before he pulled her back in, hugging her close. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, sounding equally choked up.

"It's not your fault," she said, but Steve clung to her tightly.

"It is, it was," he insisted.

Oh, Bucky realised, he was blaming himself again. For the death of James Barnes. And wasn't that weird, how he kept apologising to her.

Bucky sighed, and hugged him tight in return. "No regrets, Steve," she said. "Just move forward now. It's all we can do."

They embraced for the longest time, until Steve's stomach started complaining rather loud.

Bucky smiled. "Wanna go make a midnight snack?"

"Don't you think it's weird?" Steve asked her as they pulled apart.

"What? A midnight snack?" she teased.

"This, us," Steve said, his face naked and sad. "You being here, your connection to... Bucky."

"Well..." She looked away. Yes, maybe it was kind of weird, but she was trying not to examine it all too closely or she might lose her grip on reality. All that mattered to her was that she was happy, and that Steve was happy. "Does it bother you?" she asked him. "That I'm here?"

"How do you mean?"

"Would you... rather I wasn't here?" she asked quietly.

"God, no," Steve said, reaching for her hand and holding on. "No. I can't lose you."

Bucky smiled, and fitted her fingers through his. "Well, then, how's that saying go? Don't look a gift horse in the mouth? Maybe we should apply that to us. Just go with it."

Steve laughed lightly, and nodded his head. "Okay, Buck. You got it."

They put on t-shirts and went to raid Bucky's kitchen.

Steve was starving, apparently, so they made plenty of sandwiches. Bucky was all out of bread and her refrigerator was nearly bare at the end of their snack marathon.

It felt comfortably domestic, being with Steve in the kitchen. They worked around each other easily, Steve insisting on cleaning up when Bucky would've happily left things to sit in the sink until morning.

When they bickered over the dishes Bucky got another of those deja vu moments, softer this time, like a fond feeling. She didn't tell Steve, but she did let him get his way.

Let him wash the dishes if he was so eager, she didn't mind. She stood behind him at the sink and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her face on his back like he was her own personal pillow, and she closed her eyes.

Tomorrow, Bucky knew she'd probably have to deal with this, especially if SHIELD found out, but tonight she had Steve all to herself. She was going to make the most of him.

When they went back to bed, Steve got Bucky on her back as he settled between her legs and ate her out at a leisurely pace.

Bucky moaned with pleasure, mussing her hair up on the pillow as she twisted about and gave in to the ecstasy of Steve's tongue on her clit. She wound her fingers in his hair, guiding him where she wanted him, and he gave her three amazing orgasms one right after the other.

Bucky was a gasping, sobbing wreck when Steve slid inside her, seating his cock all the way in as he leaned in to kiss her. Bucky kissed him back, wrapping her legs round his waist to hold him close.

"I love you," Steve gasped into her mouth, thrusting slowly. "I'm sorry, I had to say it."

"Oh," Bucky gasped, as he pulled out and impaled her again, and again. "I love you too, Steve."

"You do?" he sounded surprised, pausing his movements.

"Of course I do." Bucky reached down and patted his ass. "And I didn't say stop."

Steve grinned and kissed her, resuming his thrusts and gaining in speed. "God, I love you, Bucky Barnes," he rasped, slamming into her. "I love you so much."

"Steve!" She clung onto him as he fucked her. "Ah, right there. Don't stop."

Steve grabbed her leg, lifting it up and thrusting into her with the new angle. Bucky cried out, starting to come. Her body shook and clenched around him, and when he started to come too Bucky pulled him down to kiss her.

"I love you, Steve," she murmured against his lips. "I love you."

Bucky was no prude, not by a long shot, and when Steve had asked her in between rounds of love making if they were going into SHIELD today, Bucky had said _nah_. So they'd stayed in bed fucking, making love, cuddling, watching some TV and ordering food in, then making love again.

It was all fine until Bucky's phone trilled with Fury's special ringtone, then she felt kind of weird about answering while currently naked, recently fucked, and worrying that Fury had spy cameras in her apartment and knew exactly what she'd been up to.

She _knew_ there weren't any bugs, she checked every day. But she felt like his beady eye was on her as she answered his call.

"Barnes," she said, walking out the bedroom with her phone.

She couldn't be looking at a naked Steve while she talked to Fury, that would be just way too much for any human brain to handle.

"Is Rogers with you?" Fury asked, direct as usual.

"He is," Bucky answered, planning to lead with some half truths and major bullshit.

"And are you planning on coming into SHIELD today?" Fury asked.

"Not sure yet," Bucky replied, willing her nerves to stay calm during this interrogation.

"Hm," Fury replied, and Bucky was relived this wasn't a video call.

She cleared her throat. "Can't spend every day in the gym, sir," she pointed out.

"Apparently not," Fury replied. "Well if it's not too much trouble, maybe you and Rogers can make your way in tomorrow morning."

"Yessir," Bucky replied, wilting with relief. "We'll be there."

"Good," Fury said, then ended the call.

Bucky put her phone down and headed back into the bedroom.

"Trouble?" Steve asked, lying on his side.

Bucky bit her lip, getting back into bed. "Nah, Fury just wondering where we were, that's all."

"Ah." Steve waited until she was lying down then he climbed on top of her. "And what did you tell him?"

"Nothing, yet." Bucky grinned up at him as Steve pinned her hands above her head to lift her boobs up. "He's probably going to guess, though. He's like that."

"I figured as much." Steve bent his head, mouth latching onto Bucky's nipple, sucking gently for a moment before moving to her other nipple.

Bucky sighed, closing her eyes. "Do you want me to tell him about us?"

"I don't mind," Steve murmured, kissing her breast. "Will he mind?"

"He'll probably be thrilled," Bucky said with a snort. "He wants you to join SHIELD, I'm already a SHIELD agent, so..."

"Right," Steve said, still kissing her boobs, tonguing at her nipples. "If you think it'll make your life easier, we can keep it between us for now. It's up to you."

"Mmm, okay," Bucky said, and hitched her leg around Steve's hip. "Lemme think about it."

Morning came far too quickly for Bucky's liking, but they couldn't delay any longer.

They showered one after the other. They couldn't shower together or they'd take all morning, and they were on the clock.

Dressed in their training gear again, they ate a light breakfast and went down in the elevator together, stealing glances at each other and smiling with their shared secret like a couple of love-struck teens.

Bucky had never felt happier.

She suggested they get coffee, so they stopped at the Starbucks first. Bucky ordered her iced latte, and Steve decided to try out a cappuccino this time.

They sipped at their coffee as they walked down the street to the SHIELD office.

"You decided how to handle this yet?" Steve asked her as the building came into view. "You could go in first and I'll circle the block, go in after you. That way they won't know we came in together."

"Um, yeah," Bucky said, thinking it over. "I guess we could do that."

Steve must've picked up on her tone, as he looked over at her. "You want to do something else?"

Bucky smiled at him. "Yeah, let's try just... going in together?"

Steve blinked in surprise, then a bright smile lit his face. "Okay," he said softly.

They walked up to the SHIELD building side by side, going in the main entrance. As they went through security, Bucky noticed the staff looking at them curiously but no one dared say anything.

One of the young men smiled at Steve, and when Steve greeted him by name he looked positively thrilled.

That's when Bucky got the feeling, maybe Steve would fit in here at SHIELD after all, given some time.

Steve smiled at her as they walked through the lobby, and she felt that everything would be alright.


	8. If I can't help falling in love with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, i finished it! I had no idea it'd get so long. I hope you enjoy the story

_Two weeks later_

Steve hadn't exactly said yes to Fury and SHIELD yet, but he had to admit he was leaning that way.

And it wasn't only because of Bucky, though her being at SHIELD was a big part of why Steve was considering working for them. There was also the people he'd met: Fury, Romanov, Hill, Coulson, and a few other agents in the building that gave Steve a sense that he could find a place here. He felt less alone than he had when he'd woken up three weeks ago.

Today he was getting the final fitting (he hoped) on a new training suit. Something a bit more covert, Bucky had told him. Their aim was to do some field training but as the world didn't know Captain America was back yet, being covert would allow Steve some privacy.

Steve had met Bucky earlier for a debriefing on the training exercise she had planned, then they broke for Steve to get his uniform fitted, and she went to get changed too.

They'd be meeting two other agents for the training today: Romanov and Barton, who Steve hadn't met yet.

Steve met with his uniform rep and they took him into a room where he'd try on his new suit. Steve got behind a screen, keeping on his Under Armor, and pulled on his new kevlar reinforced tac suit.

It was a dark blue, almost black, with only a silver star on his chest and a subtle red stripe down the sides. It was a good fit too, and Steve allowed the assistants to help him buckle in and explain the various functions.

He had boots, gloves, a utility belt, and a helmet too.

The helmets often got on Steve's nerves, making his head hot, but apparently SHIELD had worked around this issue, so when he put the uniquely sculpted helmet on it felt cool on his head.

Steve buckled the chinstrap and looked at himself in the mirror. Not bad, he thought. Subtle yet fashionable.

There was a knock at the door, and one of the assistants told him, "It's Agent Barnes for you, sir."

Steve nodded at them. "Thanks. Am I good to go?"

"Yessir."

Steve thanked them and exited the room. Bucky was waiting out in the hallway holding something large and circular behind her back, and Steve's eyes nearly bugged out when he saw her.

She was suited up too, in all black skintight tac gear. Her hair was loose to the side, and she had a heavy amount of dark eyeshadow painted around her eyes.

"Hey," Steve breathed, stepping up to her. "New look?"

She smiled at him, her lips looking full and kissable. "Helps with the secret identity part. Sometimes I wear a mask too."

"Hot," Steve whispered, leaning in to kiss her on the lips.

"And this," she said after, "is for you." She brought out what she'd been hiding behind her back. A shield.

Steve took the shield, bearing a striking resemblance to his but the colors were muted dark blues. "Is this new?" he asked.

"No, it's yours." She smiled at him. "It's been cleared for field duty, and I had a colored film put over it for stealth work. It'll peel right off when you want, no problem. The original stars and stripes design is underneath."

"Neat," Steve said, spinning the shield in his hands to test it.

It felt good.

"That's why they fitted a shield harness on me then?" he asked. "I did wonder."

Bucky nodded, her blue eyes vivid and sparkling. "Ready to head out? Romanov and Barton have the Quinjet ready for us."

"Sure," Steve said, fitting the shield onto his back. It clicked into place, and he fell into step beside Bucky as she led the way.

Steve couldn't resist reaching down and palming her ass briefly, making her smile.

"Steve, I thought we agreed no groping at the office," she whispered.

"But you look amazing," he told her, giving her ass one final pat. "Seriously, if you wanted me to join SHIELD already you should've worn this on day one."

Bucky laughed. "Noted," she said, giving him side eye. "Looking good yourself, Captain. Blue is your color."

"You can peel me out of it later," Steve teased. "I can't wait to peel you out of yours."

Bucky bit her lip against a smile. "Damn, don't distract me."

They took the elevator to the roof, fitting their Comms pieces into their ears.

Bucky set up their communications channel, giving Steve their codenames. He was Cap, she was Soldier, Natasha was Widow, and apparently Barton was Hawkeye.

"Hawkeye?" Steve mouthed to Bucky, as she stifled a snicker.

"Marksman," she mouthed back, as they came out on the roof. "From the circus."

Steve's eyebrows flicked up. "Really?" he said aloud, as Bucky laughed and nodded.

The Quinjet was waiting for them with its hatch down, engines already firing up. Steve let Bucky walk up first, so he could watch her ass. The look she gave him over her shoulder told him she knew his game.

He grinned at her in reply, then she was introducing him to Barton, in the pilot's chair. Natasha was in co-pilot, and she smiled at them both.

"Ready to go play?" she asked, pressing a button to raise the hatch.

"Sure," Steve said. "Show me what you've got."

The Quinjet took off, with Steve and Bucky strapped into seats in the back. "You know you still haven't told me what the training threat is," he said to her.

Bucky only smiled, and because Comms were on Natasha answered him, "Not what, who."

"Huh?" Steve didn't understand. "We're training against someone else?"

"He's coming in hot right now," Barton informed them. "Uh, guys, something's taking over the Quinjet's PA..."

Steve winced as loud music came in over the ship's interior speakers, followed by the voice of Tony Stark on Comms, "Oh, hey, guys. Ready to rock and roll?"

Natasha managed to turn down the music to a more acceptable volume, and when Steve looked out the front windows of the Quinjet he saw the Iron Man suit flying along just ahead.

"Hey, Tony," Steve greeted him. "Nice of you to join us."

"Well, Cap, it was Barnes who invited me," Tony replied, as Steve looked to Bucky and they shared a smile, "and who am I to say no to a lady."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and (nice!) comments fuel me!
> 
> Here is a [rebloggable post on tumblr](https://jro616.tumblr.com/post/189337373005/yes-ill-always-remember-you-roe87-captain) for this fic.
> 
> I am on [tumblr](http://jro616.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/jro616).


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